grief

The tide recedes but leaves behind
bright seashells on the sand.
The sun goes down, but gentle
warmth still lingers on the land.
The music stops, and yet it echoes
on in sweet refrains…..
For every joy that passes,
something beautiful remains.

I have come to the conclusion, at least on a personal level, that it is fruitless to try to make sense of death – for me, it simply did not and does not work. But what I can do instead is to try to make sense of life – to learn how to focus on and force something positive to come from the life that person lived and the legacy she or he left behind.

This is not about “finding the silver lining in the cloud” – there is no silver lining in the loss of a loved one. Rather, it is about refocusing your thoughts and memories on who that person was when she or he was alive, what gifts she or he has left behind that will continue long after all of us have passed on. You are who you are today in part because of that person. So are all of the other people who came into contact with that person during his or her life.

It is about honoring the memory of that person’s life. It is about understanding the legacy of that person’s life. It is about creating a living monument to what that person’s life meant. Because that is something that never ends, that cannot be taken away from you.
Grieving is hard, everyone has different ways of coping with that but you can't really understand where people are coming from unless someone really close or something really close has gone. Everyone will share the pain but not the same pain as you might feel..

For each thorn, there’s a rosebud…
For each twilight — a dawn…
For each trial — the strength to carry on,
For each storm cloud — a rainbow…
For each shadow — the sun…
For each parting — sweet memories when sorrow is done.
…. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Remember this: the people you have lost will always be near you. Just look up at the sky one night and see all those big bright shiny stars? Pick one and use it as a memory - pretend it's them. You will feel much more relaxed and grieving will be much easier.

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