Sunday, June 16, 2013

Patience


My greatest point is my persistence. I never give up in a match. However down I am, I fight until the last move. My list of matches shows that I have turned a great many so-called irretrievable defeats into victories.- Anotoly karpov-

At some point in the various journeys we embark on in our lives, we get to a part where we feel like giving up. Sometimes we give up before we even start and other times we give up just before we are about to make that huge break-In  spite of we having put so much effort to get  what  we want in  life

Those who have played serious chess know very well that there are many similarities between a chess game and life. It is common in a chess game to get stuck in some bad position – not necessarily because you are bad player; things just happen despite all your preparation and brilliant mind. Any chess player can testify to it – and when you are in a bad position often there is nothing you can do immediately about it. You have to just stick on patiently hoping that it does not get any more worse then this  situation.

Very frequently your opponent makes some bad or weak move(s) (in overconfidence or negligence) and you suddenly start seeing a “ray of hope”. Ultimately your patience pays off: you either come out a winner or with a draw. Patience always pays off. This is what I learned as a state level tournament chess player . There are reasons why I could not pursue my addiction further but I learned a lifelong lesson from Chess – importance of PATIENCE. My best cathartic experience was winning a three hour battle after sitting on a hopelessly precarious situation for almost two  hours! My patient defence somehow exhausted my opponent’s attacking abilities.
Many people can testify that life also throws situations when you are simply stuck in some not-so-good circumstances – have little options to manoeuvre, change or quit, and whatever support you have is not enough. It is not easy to sit out a situation that is full of uncertainties and potential dangers. This is the time when you discover that all your intellectual brilliance suddenly become irrelevant – and you begin to “feel” what it means to be actually “helpless”.

Things like accidents, stock-market loss, discovery of life threatening illness, back-stabbing by someone least expected, or losing everything in a natural disaster.Yes fortunately don’t happen often, but when they do you discover that you are least prepared for it. The path of recovery can often be painfully slow particularly when you have limited choices. This is the time when, not high IQ, but patience and staying power becomes the key to success.

It may also be the time when life enters a different phase and new realities begin to unfold. This transition often requires drastic emotional adjustments and newer survival skills.  During high school I some  how hooked  on  to wonderful  board  game  with  64  squares – chess to be more specific. At that time I never realized that the game would teach me the virtue of patience that would be useful for rest of my life.

There is another lesson that chess gives: There are times when you have to play to “not lose”.
No one likes to lose and it’s normal to play for win. However, there are situations where it is safer to play to avoid losing. Quite commonly you are face to face with a really strong opponent or when it is a period when you are way off your true form. The best strategy under such circumstances is to play for a draw or steer clear of risky situations to minimize the risk of losing. You put all the responsibility of outcome of the game on your opponent and see to it that you make his task as hard as you can. In fact, it can be applied in any sport.

It is fairly common to slip into sadness, isolation and depression when the problem is overwhelming. Severe situations can also becomes an invitation to alcohol or drugs or precipitates some disorders – eating disorder or insomnia are common occurrences, for example. No matter what is happening to you and how ineffective your struggle has become, there is good question to ponder – Have I hit the rock bottom or will go down still further?

When there is nothing but confusion and gloom all around. You really can’t say how long it will last – the only thing you can say is that it will end at some unknown time in future.
For an intelligent person, this is the best time for emotional development – in fact, all hard times are. So problems are actually opportunities – not threats, and the more challenging they are the better for you! Here is the three step strategy to manage the so called rock-bottoms of life.
  1. Forget the situation and take control of yourself. Think about it. No matter where you are, you always have the power of control over how you are. You can always resist falling prey to depression or isolation. Do your best to maintain your mental composure. Right now the strategy is to keep your cool and conserve strength.
  2. Resolve to wait it out – tenaciously. It is a mental resolve to bear out any mental or physical pain – so drop the anchor and let the storm unfold. Why this works? Because, no storm can go on forever! This is another truth of life. Keep a bigger picture of life in mind.
  3. How can I use this opportunity to make myself stronger? Why this could be an opportunity, is a very good question you should be occupied with.
  •  “What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
                                                                                    

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