Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Taking people for Granted



Never take someone for granted. Hold every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you’ve lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones

After watching sridevi:s performance in  English  vanglish  Boney Kapoor had tears in his eyes. He felt that for 15 years, he had taken his wife for granted, ignoring the fact that she had been an actress
It seems that most people like to say that we don't take others for granted but to be honest, I think most of us do take at least one person for granted in our lives, sometimes a lot more than one. Some people may not even realise it. I think it is a common human habit....definitely not a good one, that's for sure. Taking other people for granted can lead us to many regrets during our lifetime
Our mothers, fathers, family, and friends are the core that we interact with everyday. We must always realize that there are no guarantees that each one of them will be available to us at will. By thinking that they will always be there, we can very easily take them for granted. The good deeds and contributions that they make to our lives can sometimes go by unnoticed. We casually can mutter a phrase like "Mom's always there", "Ramesh  is  a great friend", "Isn't Dad great?" like a programmed response, like  a tape recorder  with not a  second thought to it.
It may  happen  one day, out of the blue, the phone doesn't ring, the E  mail stop coming...the person is gone. At that point, we begin to realize just how much we've lost. The space that's left in our lives, that was once full, is now empty. Regret starts creeping into our thoughts that maybe we didn't say enough to the person, while they were still here ,maybe we  ignored that  person .Even though it is very hard, and sometimes impossible to change the past, we can change the present. Look around....think about who in your life contributes to your development on a regular basis...and those that you, too, help. "Thank you" is not a very difficult phrase to say...but its meaning to a given person can be tremendous. It’s okay to tell people how much you need them, and how much you love them. 

Do it while they're here, and do  you know  studies  have  proved and  even  you  might  have  noticed   that we  are  usually harsh with  the  people who  care  for  us we  take  them  for  granted 

That’s all ok  but   best  part  is even  we  are  many a  times  taken  for  granted !! then how  to  recognize ?  why  this  happens ?. We might not notice and not care, especially when it is done by people close to us: family, friends. But when it happens on a regular basis it hurts badly. then we need to  do  some  thing  about  this . How to know when you are being taken for granted? we can  sense  and  list  out  many  things ,like  You always are there to offer your help, yet when last time you were the one in need everyone you called up was busy.,your  feelings  are not  cared for .not  loved enough ,ignored ,neglected , People assume you will always be there and each time you are not is taken as a personal offence or  maybe You notice that people forget to tell you things that matter There are many  reasons why  people take you for  granted but one  major  reason  which I  think  that  contributes to  this habit  of  taking people  for  granted  is   not  knowing  difference  between Expressing   LOVE   and Excessive   love  or  obsession love[blind  love]and  giving  too much importance to  them.

As I mentioned  earlier we  should  express  our  love for  people  who  care  for  us and also it  is  fair  enough if  some  one expresses  their  love  for  us but  when  it  crosses  limit  and leads  to  excessive  love  or  obsession  then we  are  at  their  mercy  where    we  are ready  to go  to  any  extent  to make  them  happy 

This is the biggest reason why anyone start taking you for granted. If you are obsessive about  them  and tell  that  person that what he/she means to your life, he/she will start thinking that whatever happen you are never going to go away they  will sense that you  have   become important part  in  their  life more over these are  the people who have power to make you smile as well as cry and when people become so important in your life, you become weak in front of them. You start living your life the way they want and try to do whatever makes them happy. The day others know their importance they will surely take you for granted. . So, if you think that the one you love is taking you granted, it’s time to rethink about that relation.  .  Before  discussing  on  this  let  us  understand ,What  we  should  do when you are  being taken for granted?

1]Do  not panic and make assumptions   after all there might  be  logical explanation  and not understanding the cause may  make things  worse  for you  and  them .Dont  hold  it or  make  it  sound  accusing or  blaming Just  talk    to  the concerned person and  clear  the  air

2]Try  to draw line and Learn  to  say NO. As hard as it seems ,it is still possible. Give it a try. Start with smaller things. People will take you for granted only as long as you let them. Saying ‘no’ is the first step on the road of not letting them do it. When you say ‘no’ to someone the world won’t turn upside down. It will be at the exact same place. You should realize that whatever is meant to happen will happen. Good or bad.
 3]Treat  people as you want to  be treated
Old cliche, maybe, but it does work. Before blaming someone for taking you for granted, see if you do it
 4]Stop being goody  goody  always,  You are human. You have emotions. You can get mad, you can be sad, you can be upset. If people know how you feel they won’t take you  for granted
Finally the most  important  lesson
5]Do  not  compromise on  your  self  respect
You can’t run around giving people second and third chances. You can’t let them take advantage of you. You can’t be there for them always even when they let you down all the time. Relationships are always worth fighting for but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting …ist  it ?
Don’t take people for granted. No matter how much they love you, people get tired eventually.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, this is the most comprehensive structured treatise that I have read on "taking for granted"...well done bro...I like points 4 and 5..can draw parallels in my life too....thought provoking...."levelling" manuscript...well done!!!

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