,false accusation

Expressing happiness over his name being cleared in the Bofors payoff scam, mega-star Amitabh Bachchan, however, said that he is 'pained' that it came after 25 years.

‘’No one shall be able to understand or even remotely fathom, the hours and days and months and years of the anguish of petulant blame that I had to go through. But will it really interest another? No it shall not," he wrote.

False implication , character assassination ,false  accusation give  whatever  name But  only  the  sufferer knows  the  feeling behind this It can be a frightening, humiliating and annoying experience when you discover that you are a victim of false accusations  and we  can  well  imagine  how he  might  have  felt all  these  years 

Why talk  about  Star like  Bacchan  even lord  Krishna was  not  spared  Syamantaka Mani and Shri Krishna is a story of Krishna getting false blame of being a thief of Syamantak mani and how he overcame such blame and proved that he was innocent..

As fire when thrown into water is cooled down and put out, so also a false accusation when brought against a man of the purest and holiest character, boils over and is at once dissipated, and vanishes and threats of heaven and sea, himself standing unmoved. ~Marcus Tullius Cicero

I found it quite interesting to read the other day, the story of a Zen Master in Japan, who was falsely accused of impregnating a teenage girl. When the Zen Master was confronted his response was: “Is that so?” The parents dumped the child on him, and because of the scandal he lost his reputation. One year later, the girl confessed the real father was a young boy who worked at a butcher shop. Completely embarrassed, the family apologized to the Zen Master and took the child back. His response was: “Is that so?”

This  particular  Zen  master  was equipoised  under  all  situation but what  about common  man  like you  and  me   in  this  real  world ?Yes ,I agree  we cannot  easily  attain  the  state  of Buddist  Monk  then  what  can  be done if  it  happens  to  us ? say in  your  work  place ?or  in  social  circle? do  you  ignore? Easy  then  said

Coming  back to  this real  world  we  have  seen  many marriages  are  ruined ,many friendships  have  been destroyed ,many  people  especially girls  have  committed  suicide,,   Recall  a  kannada movie  which we  are  familiar  called  Gali  mathu Translated  as word  in  air   where  the heroin  commits  suicide as  she  was falsely  accused . It  happens if  there  is  no proper support  system either  from friends  are  your  family  members 

What  can  be  done if we are  the  victim ?  

Here  are  the few tips  we  can  follow if there  is false  accusation  in  work  place or  else where in  real  world 

   ·  Say nothing. Of course, this is all predicated on what the situation is; but for the most part, if someone accuses you of something, the best thing you can do is say nothing. It seems like strange advice. But in the moment emotions can run high. If someone has accused you of something, they are probably already frustrated, upset or even downright angry. By telling them you are innocent, a point of view which is counter to theirs, you will most likely only inflame the argument. Now sometimes accusations do require answers right away; in that case, suggest a change of setting. Calmly and rationally say to the person that you believe they are mistaken. Offer to grab lunch or a cup of coffee and to let you explain your side of the story to them. This will diffuse the momentary tension. Again, do this immediately only if necessary.

Consider representation. Now that you've been accused of something, take a moment to seriously consider if you need council, legal or otherwise.  Rembember  how  a Australian  cricketer won  legal battle  against  Modi when he  was  falsely alleged  in  Twitter !

 .. Do not overlook this step. Certain matters seem as if they are small, but can quickly get out of control if you are left fending for yourself and put in the position of having to choose your words carefully.

·  Gather evidence. Since you know you are innocent, now is the time to gather the evidence that supports your claim. This will obviously be different in each situation. Think about credit card receipts, appointments, emails, bank records. Anything that is in written form which can support your claim will help to eradicate the claims against you. Gather these items.

Prepare your argument. Take your evidence and organize it in a way that makes logical sense to support your claim. If you were accused of cheating on a spouse or  some  one dear  to  you , start with where you were that night, show receipts or emails to support your claim in chronological order. As you shrink the time window of where and who you were with, you will slowly begin to win the argument. Chronology is the key as your argument must make sense. By responding in writing you are creating a paper trail that you can use as evidence. Even if you must write multiple letters over the course of several months, it will go a long way to establishing the truth of your story.

 If  needed Contact the person who made the accusation. If you have legal council, obviously follow their instructions, as they will most likely not want you contacting the other party. But if this is a matter that should be addressed by you face to face, it is time to contact the other party. Schedule a time where you can meet with them to share your side of the story. Remember, stay clam and respectful on the phone. Also, do not meet on their turf or in their office. Suggest someplace neutral like a lunch spot or coffee shop.Explain your side. Now that you're face to face with the person, address the accusation they made against you. Remember to keep emotion out of the way. If you've done your homework properly and have evidence, it should be fairly easy to eradicate the claim. Lay your evidence out in chronological order. Give them a chance to respond. Do not expect an apology from them, as it may or may not happen. Truthfully they may feel completely embarrassed if you were in the right. Also know that sometimes people need to "agree to disagree." Meaning, if there is no punitive action that you will suffer from this accusation, and you cannot convince this person with your evidence of your innocence, then it may be in everybody's best interest if you just drop it. Is it satisfying? Probably not. But at the end of the day there are only so many battles one can fight in life. Move onto something that betters you or your career and stop wasting time with the bonehead who made false accusations against you. You have responded to them and if they don't get it, it's their loss!

Finally

The best apology against false accusers is silence and sufferance, and honest deeds set against dishonest words” - John Milton

lie

Few years  back  my wife  started Dieting  and  desperately  wanted  to  loose  weight. Desperate to know if it’s working, she asked a me  &  my  Daughter if she had lost any weight. Not  dare enough   to  hurt  her  feelings promptly said, “Yes Dear , in fact, I didn’t ask earlier as I thought you  would  mistake  me ” she was  happy . I, on the other hand, kept quiet because I am one of those blessed (read cursed) people who cannot lie convincingly. Poor wife wanted to know everyone’s comment on her newly trimmed (in her opinion) self and turned her eyes on  my.  Daughter she promptly replied, “um ... I don’t know ... I guess you have lost some weight but ... ah ... not much   I guess …  wouldn’t know ... I think you haven’t….

 Needless to say my wife was not happy with her answer and my poor Daughter had to endure a long lecture from me on her lack of social graces.   She   was too small to tell    a lie   

 I Still  remember  story  in  my  childhood  on  Emperor new cloths where  Emporer

Was  taken  for  a  royal  ride  by imposters and  went  about  in town with  just  Pajama

In  a  procession and  finally  his  party  ended when one child from  the  crowd

Shouted  that Emporer  was  without  proper  cloths!!!  Child  does  not  have any  inhibition  to   tell  truth just  like  my  daughter bluttered  to  truth on  her  Mothers  face

Without  realizing  the  consequence   as  she  believed “The naked truth is always better than the best dressed lie”  may  be !!

As  we  move  on  in  life  we  tend  to  filter  the  truth  to  our  advantage based  on  the  situation and  circumstances

Coming  back  to  the  lie  in  our  Adult  world  there  are  different  types  of  lies  and  also  comes  in many  shapes  and  guises.

, from the classic little white ones to the colossal desecration of truth we all endure at the hands of politicians (remember VP Singh  pledge of election  that  he would book  the  culprit on  Bofers  within 90 days). There are lies based on kindness — on wanting to spare someone else’s feelings[Rembember what  I  told to  my  wife!!], and other lies, less noble, based on wanting to spare one’s own feelings. Then, there are lies one tells oneself to justify bad decisions or bad behavior; there are manipulative lies told to gain unfair advantage and lies told under oath about which a certain Mr Clinton knows of.

Or for  that  matter  the justification lie  told  by  own  blue  boys  in  karanataka  recently

Just as there are various types of lies, there are different attitudes towards lying. Some people take great pride in lying well, while the puritanical types run a mile if asked to lie. According to Samuel Butler, “any fool can tell the truth, but it require men of some sense to lie well.” Contrary to that, Immanuel Kant considered lying “the greatest violation of man’s duty to himself.” Machiavelli endorsed lying for utility and reasons of state

 Even  during  Mahabharatha our  own  yudistra”s lie  was  justified  by  Lord  krishna  himself !.

But whatever these intellectuals say about lying they can’t beat our film actresses when it comes to the legendary art of lying. Some  where  I  read , “One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one everything.” He didn’t know that a lot of our actresses would take it so literally. I distinctly remember watching Shilpa shetty debut film during  early part of  Her Entry  . Now, I am working for quite a while  almost  22 years  and the superstar is yet to celebrate her 32nd th birthday  that  is  they say  . Women lie about their age; men lie about their income

There is an argument that puts all the blame on biology, that deception is part of human nature — a necessary tool in the human survival kit — hence justifiable. The other view says that we are not born with this capacity to lie and we develop it as we grow up. Toddlers do not know how to lie. If you ask them about something naughty, they will immediately own up.

We all lie, for expediency, by choice, by accident or by default. There is no one who can claim to have never lied but almost no one likes being lied to. When we discover we’ve been deceived by someone we’d trusted, the falsehood opens a gap between two people.

Finally  if  you  lie  it  will  part  of  the  future as  you  need  to  justify   but  if  you  tell  truth it  becomes  part of  history , present  and  future !1

Rangaraj