Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils
the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy
state of things.”
– Winston Churchill
Dealing with criticism positively is an important life
skill. At some point in your life you will be criticised, perhaps in a
professional way. Sometimes it will be difficult to accept – but that all
depends on your reaction You can either use criticism in a positive way to
improve, or in a negative way that can lower your self-esteem and cause stress,
anger or even aggression
The
way many of us handle the criticisms
is that we see it as personal attack we charge back at
the attacker and
our trade mark reaction
would be “I’m
not going to let someone talk to me that way.” Especially if this criticism is
made in public, or in front of
everyone . You first reaction is
to defend yourself, and attack
the attacker … right?
Wrong.
By attacking the attacker, you are stooping to his level. Even if the person
was mean or rude, you don’t have to be the same way. You don’t have to commit
the same sins.
. Few
years back I had
the pleasure of attending a talk by a
successful person in corporate field when asked
what was his biggest piece of advice to young professionals:
he said
“It’s important to take
criticism seriously—not personally.”
Remember reading
some where during mid
60s when Dr
Rajkumar had already
made name in kannada
industry Puttana kanagal asst
director at that
time corrected Raj kumar
dialogue delivery during
a shooting of a movie
and told him in a
caustic way that the
dialogue delivery was
not up to mark asked
him to get
it right for next
day shooting . Great actor
he is took
the feed back / criticism in
positive way practiced for
the whole night
and delivered the dialogue to
Astt director’s satisfaction. Here
the point to
be noted is
he dint take
it personally but took
it seriously !!
I’ve always envied people who can graciously accept
constructive criticism. It seems I was not born with that trait, and throughout
my career I’ve struggled with receiving feedback, even when it was entirely
accurate. At the moment I hear the words of critique, my heartbeat quickens and
my mind begins to race—first in search of an explanation for this assault on my
person and then for a retort to rationalize whatever actions are in question.
Slowly I
have over come to
large extent this
habit of mine
and now changed
to a extent that
I take criticism
in a positive way
and yes I was
wondering earlier was
I alone in
this world who are unable to
take it in positive
way ? well later on
found out there
were many people
like me who reacted
defensively or in a aggressive mode
but not taking in
right sprit .
Yes ,Unfortunately,
in the heat of the moment, many of us react with defensiveness and anger
or—even worse—attack the person giving us feedback, but the truth is, we need
to get over it sooner the better
for us . We know there’s value in
constructive criticism—how else would we identify weaknesses and areas of improvement?—and being able to handle it calmly and professionally
will only help us maintain relationships and be more successful in everything
we do.
So
how do you learn to back off the defensive? The next time you receive
constructive criticism from your manager or a peer, handle the encounter with tact and grace. If
your first reaction is to lash back at the person giving the criticism, or to
become defensive, take a minute before reacting at all. Take a deep breath, and
give it a little thought.
Personally,
I tend to get a little angry when I’m criticized. But I have also taught myself
not to react right away. For example, I’ll let a critical email sit in my inbox
for at least an hour before replying. Or I’ll walk away from someone instead of
saying something I’ll regret later.
That
cooling off time allows me to give it a little more thought beyond my initial
reaction. It allows logic to step in, past the emotion. I don’t have anything
against emotion, but when it’s a negative emotion, sometimes it can cause more
harm than good. So I let my emotions run their course, and then respond when
I’m calmer.
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