forgiveness

When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future.

-osho-

One of the biggest myths about forgiveness is the belief that someone must first be sorry. Why should someone have to be sorry for us to forgive them? Naturally it is much easier to forgive people who are totally repentant and committed to reform, but this is not a requirement. Such a conditional attitude towards forgiveness completely misses the point. We must learn to forgive people who are not sorry, people who are convinced they are in the right, and people who may even think that we are the ones who should be sorry.

Many people object to forgiving an unrepentant person because they feel that this somehow excuses the original action. They feel that if the person does not unreservedly acknowledge that their action is wrong, then forgiveness is granting them permission to do it again. If we are holding back our forgiveness out of such fear, we must realize that forgiveness does not mean automatically giving someone another chance and letting them back into our lives. For example, if in a  given situation say  with your  friend  we can forgive them and still choose to end our  friendship . The difference is that we would not be ending the friendship due to anger and a lack of forgiveness, but rather from the awareness it is flawed and that we would be better off apart.

Over  a  period  of  time  I  have  understood and  realised that  whatever harm someone has caused us, they have caused more harm to themselves. Nobody wants to be miserable, and if they hurt others then misery is what they will get. Thus, we forgive people because we know that  most of  the  time they act out of ignorance. If they are unrepentant, we should hold even more compassion for them, because this same ignorance may cause them to do the same thing again and again.

 Remember, however much they are harming us, they are harming themselves more! but once again, as mentioned before, the choice to distance ourselves from this person is always open 

   I  am not here  to  give  sermon  like Buddhist  monk  but   over  period  of  time I have also realised that  it is beneficially for us to forgive and  move  ahead   as  it brings  us  enormous benefits. According to recent research they  say that  If you can bring yourself to forgive and forget, you are likely to enjoy lower blood pressure a stronger immune system, and a drop in the stress hormones circulating in your blood studies and  you'll reduce the anger, bitterness, resentment, depression  and other negative emotions that accompany the failure to forgive.

  Finally  Forgiveness does not mean you erase the past, or forget what has happened. It doesn’t even mean the other person will change his behaviour which  you  don’t have any  control . All it means is that you are letting go of the anger and pain, and moving on to a better place.

  It is  not  atall  easy but we can learn to do it for  our own  good  which I  am trying to  implement and  given  me  dividends. 

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and  you  will discover that the prisoner was you!!

-         -.

attachment vs Love

  I feel that  obsession with a loved one are the same as those of an obsession with anything else. However, in the case of relationships, the seriousness is often downplayed. While everyone knows the harm caused by a gambling addiction, many are not so concerned about a “love addiction”. It is considered normal, maybe even romantic. 

The crux of the problem lies in the use of the word “love”: people take an obsession or an attachment and they call it love. This leads them to assume that it is a good thing. Clearly, love is a good thing, but attachment is not. Often we want our person we love  to be attached to us because it provides   sort  of  security   and  also  many of  our  bollyhood songs contain supposedly romantic lyrics about how much someone “needs” another. In practice however, love most easily arises in the absence of need. Love is an unselfish and open state, which is quite the opposite of need.

 When a relationship is based on attachment, we have problems such as selfishness, possessiveness, insecurity, and disappointment. A relationship based on love has no such issues. Therefore, we should avoid attachment in a relationship just as we should avoid attachment in other areas of life. Instead of needing something external for our happiness, we must take responsibility for our own happiness. This does not mean being any less committed to the relationship. On the other hand, it will result in a relationship that is more lasting and stable.

 Often  We  fail  to discriminate between obsession/attached  vs Love  and  end   up being   frustrated which leads us to  loose our  equilibrium .Intimate relationships can be one of the greatest sources of joy in our lives. However, as with most enjoyable things, it is easy to become attached/obsessed . This occurs when we start to seek too much from the relationship, and  see it as integral to our happiness. It is dangerous to seek too much from anything in life. We  keep on  hearing    from spiritual  gurus   that  every one in  this  planet is  responsible for our own happiness and yet  we  seek from  outside thru relationship.

Many  a times  it  has  happened   and  still happening  to  me  and  for  that  matter  everyone  more so  in  our  growing  years where  we  seek happiness out  of  wrong relationship after being  obsessed with   a person  or  a  object  and  end  up hearing  pathos songs ! .May  be I  think  this  is  way  Life  teaches us  the  lesson  where we  are  forced to  get  obsessed / attached to  a  person or  a object  then  losing  it   and  later  on  realising  the   value  of    true Love .As some  one  rightly  said 

“:Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, someone they need, or something they thought was meant to be or  getting  betrayed ,.  but it is these losses that make us stronger and eventually move us toward future opportunities.'' I think  it  is  part  of  life ‘’. 

Other day I was  reading  extract from  a    book  by Jack Kornfield who  is  a Buddhist teacher and author Bringing Home the Dharma ; Awakening  Right where you  are   where   he  says   beautifully that ‘’The near enemy of love is attachment. Attachment masquerades as love. It says, “I will love this person because I need them.” Or, “I’ll love you if you’ll love me back. I’ll love you, but only if you will be the way I want.” This isn’t love at all – it is attachment – and attachment is rigid, it is very different from love. When there is attachment, there is clinging and fear. Love allows, honors, and appreciates; attachment grasps, demands, needs, and aims to possess  beautiful  thought .. 

I   I know  all  these  sermons  are  easy  to  talk  and  write but  very  difficult to  follow. Yes , Without going into highly debatable explanations and theories, I would say that love is a positive feeling toward something or somebody, and attachment is an emotional need for something or somebody.The major difference is that love is a feeling directed toward the “other” (the other person, place or thing), while attachment is a self-centered—meaning based on fulfilling your need.

Gayitri Mantra alternate explination

(A) OM BHUR BHUVAH SWAH:
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Bhur the earth, bhuvah the planets (solar family), swah the Galaxy. We observe that when an ordinary fan with a speed of 900 RPM (rotations Per minute) moves, it makes noise. Then, one can imagine, what great noise would be created when the galaxies move with a speed of 20,000 miles per second. This is what this portion of the mantra explains that the sound produced due to the fast-moving earth, planets and galaxies is "OM"

The sound was heard during meditation by Rishi Vishvamitra, who mentioned it to other Rishis, then of them, then unanimously decided to call this sound OM  the name of God, because this sound is available in all the three periods of time, hence it is set (permanent). Therefore, it was the first ever revolutionary idea to identify formless God with a specific title (form) called upadhi. Until that time, everybody recognized God also in formless and nobody was prepared to accept this new idea. In the Gita also, it is said, "Omiti ekaksharam brahma", meaning that the name of the Supreme is Om, which contains only one syllable (8/12).

This sound Om heard during samadhi was called by all the seers nada-brahma a very great noise), but not a noise that is normally heard beyond a specific amplitude and limits of decibels suited to human hearing. Hence the rishis called this sound Udgith musical sound of the above, i.e., heaven. They also noticed that the infinite mass of galaxies moving with a velocity of 20,000 miles/second was generating a kinetic energy = 1/2 MV2 and this was balancing the total energy consumption of the cosmos. Hence they named it Pranavah, which means the body (vapu) or store house of energy (prana).

 (B) TAT SAVITUR VARENYAM:
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Tat that (God), savitur the sun (star), varenyam worthy of bowing or respect. Once the form of a person along with the name is known to us, we may locate the specific person.Hence the two titles (upadhi) provide the solid ground to identify the formless God, Vishvamitra suggested that we could know (realise) the unknowable formless God through the known factors, viz., sound Om and light of suns (stars).

A mathematician can solve an equation x2+y2=4; if x=2; then y can be known and so on. An engineer can measure the width of a river even by standing at the riverbank just by drawing a triangle a good  doctor can dioganise the  patient just  by  looking  at  him  So was the scientific method suggested by Vishvamitra the  brahma rishi  explains  mantra in the next portion as under:  with  his  immense knowledge on  this subject  -

 (C) BHARGO DEVASYA DHEEMAHI:
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Bhargo the light, devasya of the deity, dheemahi we should meditate. The rishi instructs us to meditate upon the available form (light of suns) to discover the formless Creator (God). Also he wants us to do japa of the word Om (this is understood in the Mantra).. This is how the sage wants us to proceed, but there is a great problem to realize it, as the human mind is so shaky and restless that without the grace of the Supreme it cannot be controlled.

Hence Vishvamitra suggests the way to pray to HIM as under:

 (D) DHIYO YO NAH PRACHODAYAT:
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Dhiyo (intellect), yo (who), nah (we all), prachodayat (guide to right Direction). O God! Deploy our intellect on the right path.

Full scientific interpretation of the Mantra: The earth (bhur), the planets (bhuvah), and the galaxies (swah) are moving at a very great velocity, the sound produced is Om, (the name of formless God.) That God (tat), who manifests Himself in the form of light of suns (savitur) is worthy of bowing/respect (varenyam). We all, therefore, should meditate (dheemahi) upon the light (bhargo) of that deity (devasya) and also do chanting of Om. May He (yo) guide us in the right direction (prachodayat) our(nah) intellect dhiyo.

Ramujanucharya decesion to take sanyas

One morning some Srivaishnava's asked for food and Ramanuja's wife Rakshakambal said there is nothing to offer. Ramanuja went inside and found the food hidden. He was angry at his wife and offered the food to the hungry men.

In another incident there was an altercation between Ramanuja's wife and the wife of his Guru over the purity of water in the pots they held. Mahapurna observed this and started back to Srirangam immediately with his wife chasting his wife for the cause of unpleasant incidence. Ramanuja after returning to his residence came to know about incident and decided to take up Sanyasa, sending his wife to her parents abode (These incidents how Ramanuja was against Caste pride).
He went to the Shrine of Lord Varadha, and prayed 'Oh Lord Varadha! (Granter of boons) Grant me the deliverance from samsara and invest me with all the insignia of the vaishnava ascetic : i.e., the Triple-Staff, Holy thread, the saffron robe'. Lord Varadha was pleased, bestowed the aspired things to Ramanuja and addressed him as 'Ramanuja Muni'.
Ramanuja had weaned himself from the world. He was punctually doing his daily routine ordained for monastic. To carry out the promise which he had given to Yamuna, he wanted a colleague. He could not think of a better than his cousin. Govinda who was in the service of Lord Siva in Kalahasti. He summoned his maternal uncle Srishailapurna who was at Tirupathi to fetch Govinda. In the meanwhile, Kuresha and Dasarathi were rejoiced to hear that Ramanuja have joined the monastic order and many aspirants pleaded with Ramanuja to accept them as his disciple. Ramanuja welcomed them and thus a group of pupils gathered round the future pontiff of vaishnava sect.
Yadava Prakasa's mother was a regular visitor to the temple of Varadharaja. She had seen the spiritual progress of Ramanuja. She advised her son to accept Ramanuja as his teacher. For some time Yadava had begun to doubt the soundness of advaitism. He was convinced that Ramanuja is a spiritually enlightened soul, and followed him

ramanuja & iyengers

jainsim means we immediately think of Bhagavan Mahaveera,
Bhaubali ....etc Same way we think only Ramanujacharya when we see any Iyengers , in reality Bhagavan Mahaveer was only a teertankara so also bahubali and there were many many teertankara or Gurus who followed Jainsim or principals of Jainsim much much before these great souls,but ...Bhagavan mahaveer popularized and made jainsim reach common people so that they can understand and apply in their daily life that is why we common people know Bhagavan mahaveer more then any other teertankara .like wise there were many Alwars or great souls who followed vaishnava pricipals much much before Ramanujacharya but Ramanujacharya perfected these principals and propagated and made it peculate down the line in a clear and lucid way so that we common people can understand and practice and that is the reason we identify iyengers with Ramajunacharya

Accident

Today  while going on my  usual   morning  walk  , I happened to witness an accident that left me wondering what life was all about. We are so involved in our everyday problems and little victories, which become so insignificant at such moments. Fast  moving Taxi  had hit a old  woman and as people were pulling her  out from under the taxi  I did a U-turn rather than  continue my walk as  i  dint have  heart to see more .

As I was  walking  back home I  was thinking…. Did she have a husband and children, how would they  take the news, and if by chance - there is always that flicker of hope - she did survive, would she be

able to live a normal life? Who was at fault? The taxi driver or the old lady ? A few hours have gone by and the shock is wearing off, but I i don’t think  i  have  courage to  walk past the place where  this  accident  occurred for  few  days   and silently Pray  for her ,.. It makes one wonder why we do become so impatient on the road and so disrespectful of the rules,  and  cross the  high way  even  though  there  is  underpass constructed for  our  benefit   and  take  shortcut  or  why taxi  drivers or  for  that  matter  car  drivers zip  past  the  high  way  in  hurry  to  reach  destination

 I grieve for the victim, but his family more, for they have to cope with the tragedy.