Blame Game

A man can  fail many  times ,but he  isn’t a failure  until he begins to  blame some  body else

-         

 Other  day during  my   30  minutes  conversation  with  one  of  my  old  friend   he started  blaming  every  one for  his   present situation- his  job, his  wife ,his  dog , his   mother-in-law, his neighbour, the media, the government, his barber   were somehow  directly or indirectly responsible for the problems he  is  facing .  When  I  pointed   out  to  him if  he  had  ever introspected  and  analysed the  situation  objectively  he  was  not  at all  convinced  as  he  seems to  be in his own  artificially  created  blame  world and  in  turn  tried  his  best  to drill down  the  fact  that  he  was  right  and others  were  wrong .I  felt  sorry  for  him  and  moved  on 

Finding someone to blame may give us a substitute sensation for having solved a problem when we haven't really understood cause and effect at all.  Few  Years  back   ,Yes I too played the  blame  game  but   slowly  came   out  of  it,  and  believe  me  during   that phase in  my   life  I  started  blaming  every  one  for my  situation except  myself .!!  My finances, my unhappiness, , my broken-down car, and even my bad hair day were all entirely some  one  else fault !
 well it  went  on  for some  time  than one fine   day  I had   that  “aha” moment.  I started  thinking about this  blame game wondering “it  may give  me  temporary relief by  blaming  others  /external  situation  but  at the  end  of  the   day  really  has  it  helped ?  no , I  am  where  I  am   and not  moving  an  inch  from  this situation .

 I sat down, took a long deep breath, and thought how  this blame  game  has contributed to my own unhappiness. and  resolved  to come  out  of  this  and  started  introspection  .I  discovered that by looking  at myself  and  taking  responsibility  for  my  action  alone will help me  come  out  of  this  situation instead  of  blaming others / external  factors.

Quitting the blame game and learning life lessons has allowed me to be in a loving, equal, and best of all, relaxing relationship.  It’s allowed me to build my dream career. It’s also allowed me to look at each obstacle I’m facing and find something positive to take away from it. Life is full of people who take emotional shortcuts and blame other people unfairly or aggressively; for the sake of the human race, don't be one of them. But I wouldn't blame you if you were. If you’re having an issue then there is a lesson to be learned.

. Once we learn a lesson we move on to the next lesson. . Here  the  lesson  is  to look into  ourself for  the present  situation you  are  into ,try  to  come  out instead of  blaming  others which  will  take  you  no where.

  I'm not saying we should never blame other people. Sometimes others are at fault and they need to know it and take responsibility but being able to accept responsibility is the right   way as it  helps  us to  understand and come  out  of  the  situation .

  Dont you  agree that   easiest way to be unhappy in life is to blame other people or events for our own misery/problems. Logically, this is a foolish thing to do. If the cause of our misery/problems is external then there is nothing we can do about it, whereas internal causes provide us with the hope to change ourselves and thus alleviate our misery.

Yet for some strange reason, we prefer to blame the outside world rather than look within. Perhaps it comes down to pride: we refuse to admit that we are responsible for our own unhappiness, and thus we keep ourselves trapped in this state  and  yes  reason why we blame others is because we become uncertain about our own capabilities and we become thwarted by our problems in life. We tend to come up with excuses to stay away from what we should be doing but sooner or  later  we  need to  learn that regardless of how much you blame others, it will not change your life; but on  the  contrary  less you blame others, you  get  power  to  exercise greater intuition and better  judgment about what’s really going .

Ask yourself the following questions: Am I in charge of my life outcomes? Can I personally make things better in this situation? How can I take responsibility to become better?

When  you  blame others ,you  give up  your power to  change

-swami Viveknanda-