spoken words

Spoken words can only forgiven, not forgotten. So be very careful what you say

Ramana mahashri-

It’s easy to spurt out something without really  thinking   about it. Usually this ends up being okay with no harm done, but sometimes you’ll say something that you wish you hadn't. Problem is, you can’t take these words back, If you say the wrong thing there is a strong chance that people will  remember what came out of your mouth. So before we speak,  we need to make sure what  we mean.

  On  the  flip  side Sometimes people don't even speak up about something that hurts them, they just assume that others would read their mind. I am not  denying  the  fact that it's necessary to speak up when something bothers you because if you don't  it's going to repeat again  and  again ,   but I  believe it  is  better not to  speak when you are  in  unstable  or  disturbed state  of  mind 

 I  remember reading a beautiful story from  Buddha’s life, which discusses  state of  mind   when   disturbed looses  control on  our self   .putting  us  in a awkward situation   .  .  Worth reading.

One day Buddha is passing by a forest. It is one of those hot summer days in  northern part of   India  and he is feeling very thirsty. He says to Ananda, his chief disciple, “Ananda, you go back. Just three, four miles back we passed a small stream of water. You bring  little water — take my begging bowl. I am feeling very thirsty and tired.” He had become old.

Ananda goes back, but by the time he reaches the stream, a few bullock carts have just passed through the stream and had  made the whole stream muddy. Dead leaves which had settled into the bed have risen up; it is no longer possible to drink this water — it is too dirty. He comes back empty-handed, and he says, “You will have to wait a little. I will go ahead. I have heard that just two, three miles ahead there is a big river. I will bring water from there.”

But Buddha insists that  he  wanted  water  from  that stream ! Ananda was confused and  could  not  understand , but if the master says so, the disciple has to follow. Seeing the absurdity of it — that again he will have to walk three, four miles, and he knows that water is not worth drinking —  but starts  walking  back  to  the  stream .

When he is going, Buddha says, “And don’t come back if the water is still dirty. If it is dirty, you simply sit on the bank silently. Don’t do anything, don’t get into the stream. Sit on the bank silently and watch. Sooner or later the water will be clear again, and then you fill the bowl and come back.”

Ananda goes there. Buddha is right: the water is almost clear, the leaves have moved, the dust has settled. But it is not absolutely clear yet, so he sits on the bank just watching the river flow by. Slowly it becomes crystal-clear. Then he comes dancing. He understands why Buddha was so insistent. There was a certain message in it for him, and he understood the message. He gave the water to Buddha, and he thanked Buddha, touched his feet.

Buddha says, “What are you doing? I should thank you that you have brought water for me.”

Ananda says, “Now I can understand. First I was angry  and  disturbed ; I didn’t show it, but I was angry because it was absurd to go back. But now I understand the message. This is what I actually needed in this moment. 
  sitting on the bank of that small stream, I became aware that the same is the case with my mind. If I jump into the stream I will make it dirty again. If I jump into the mind more noise is created, more problems start coming up, surfacing. Sitting by the side I learned the technique.

“Now I will be sitting by the side of my mind too, watching it with all its dirtiness and problems and old leaves and hurts and wounds, memories, desires which is  the  root  cause for  my  disturbed  mind . Unconcerned I will sit on the bank and wait for the moment when everything is clear. ”it happens on its own accord, because the moment you sit on the bank of your mind you are no longer giving energy to it...such a profound  message !

  Many a  times even  I have  spoken in  disturbed mind  and  have  regretted  later but by  the time   I  realized   it  is too late  and  damage  is  done .I  am  sure    you  might have  also  experienced  the  same.  Yes I  also endorse  the view  that  we cannot  live our entire life as Goutama  Budda  as  we  live  in  real  world. of  course  Life is a roller-coaster ride, with ups and downs and  some  time we are  bound to cross the limit and  blurt out ,  that's  Ok  but reducing  the  frequency is  the  key ,  controlling  our  spoken  words  when in  disturbed mind  will  give  us  everlasting  peace which I  am following  of  late and has  given  me rich  dividends

… No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.

-       Bhatruhari –