Preconceived notion

Be prepared to give up every preconceived notion. Follow humbly wherever and to whatever abyss Nature leads

-osho Rajneesh-

Man is a complicated  creature with great capacity for both good and bad.  At his   best he has great concern for the sufferings of his fellow man  and may do much good,  at his worst he can be an animal.

 It must be said that there is  goodness mixed  with the badness in life and that the Human being is a great mixture of both goodness and badness. 

  If there are a great many people who are selfish and are guided only by self-interest there are also  great many who are   concerned about others and their welfare, Things are not all  bad , and much can be in the mind of the beholder.  People  often see others and life as they themselves are, its  like a mirror   ,it reflects what  you  see ,you  make  faces it  does the  same   . . 

I heard this story long time ago about a  a person coming to a new village, relocating,  went to the zen master resident of  that  Village  and asked : Are the people nice in  this Village?

The master asked back: How were the people in the town where you come from? “They were nasty ,greedy, were cheaters and and scoundrels,” said the newcomer.Those are exactly the type of people we have in this village, said the master.Another newcomer to the village visited the master and asked the same question, to which the master asked: How were the people in the town where you come from? “They were sweet and lived in harmony, they cared for one another and for the land, they respected each other and they were seekers of spirit,” he replied. Those are exactly the type of people we have in this village, said the master. 

We can relate with  similar story from   Mahabharata  where Drona once asked the upright Yudhishtira to go around  the city of Hastinapur and find for him one bad man. He then asked Duryodhan to go round  the city of Hastinapur and find one good man. Both returned alone. Yudhishtira said that everyone in Hastinapur is good; there is no bad man. Duryodhan said the very opposite: everyone in the city is a scoundrel and a cheat; there is no good man. And Drona said, "You have told me nothing about Hastinapur but a lot about yourself."

When someone says This  person  is Bad ,this  person  is  Good  they actually mean as per  their Measuring  scale he tops  the  list of  Bad  people  or  Good  people  and  it  is  purely  subjective in  nature .Yes ,understanding of the world depends on the measuring scale we subscribe to. Yudhishtira’s measuring scale failed to identify a bad man in Hastinapur . Duryodhan’s measuring scale failed to identify a good man in Hastinapur. Their opinions about Hastinapur said nothing about Hastinapur but about the measuring scales they subscribed to.

 Fortunately or  unfortunately there is no universal measuring scale to  measure goodness or  badness in  a person as it is purely subjective and comparative .What  I  mean by  comparative is  We always try to compare one person with other person whom  we feel as  Good  or  Bad  and our  measuring  scale measures some  what   similar like measuring   other usual things in  life– this is longer than that, this is heavier than that, this is hotter than that and in the  same breadth we compare  this  Person  is better  than  X , With comparison comes evaluation and judgment, Some things become more desired & more more valuable. When things or person  start becoming more desired and more valuable, then  he is  Good   and  quite opposite when it  is undesirable  and no longer  valuable to  us . Many a time we  are clouded with  preconceived notion  & are  prejudiced about   the person before we  actually  meet them . .

I  am also not  advocating you  to   be  like Yudisitra    to  see only goodness nor like duryodana to  see only  badness   but  at least I feel  it  is better to have open mind  ,not  to  be prejudiced and  have preconceived notion before we actually meet  person  we  intended   

 “It’s not what you don’t know about a person  that holds you back. It’s what you do know that you think is true that is ultimately the most crippling factor. All those things that you think are true about people before meeting are really figments of your LITTLE imagination which  usually  is not true 

. Having  a preconceived notion about who I  am is like picking who you  want to win for the oscars before  seeing the movie ,It is better to make , statement or judgment about someone, after  getting  all the  information , meeting him in person.

-KamalHassan-

 

Commitment & Involvement

Whatever you do, strive to do it so well that no man living and no man dead and no man yet to be born could do it any better.”
-Swami Viveknanda-
 
There are many beautiful stories about Zen masters  where  if  we really  go  deep  into the core of  the  story  shows the right path to  be taken  in  our  life and more  over  other interesting aspect about  Zen masters are that  they were  not  only great teachers but also  great painters and great artists.
 
once a Zen-Master  who was also a great Painter was asked by the Emperor who had  penchant for collecting  great paintings  from well  known Artists  to paint a Bamboo as  part of his  personal collection. The master said: "It will take time." "How much?", the king said. The master said  "That is difficult to say, but at least two years." The king said: "Are you crazy? You are one of the greatest painters. I was thinking you can just draw it right now for that the Great Master said: ". Drawing a bamboo is not the problem. But first I have to be a bamboo. Otherwise how I do know what a bamboo is? I want to know the bamboo from the inside. So I will have to go and live in a bamboo grove. , I  believe If you want to paint a bamboo,  you have to become a bamboo.” There is no other way.

If you have not felt yourself as a bamboo standing against the sky, standing against the wind, standing against the rains, standing high with pride in the sun, If you have not heard the noise of the wind passing through the bamboo as the bamboo hears it, if you have not felt the rain falling on the bamboo as the bamboo feels it, how can you paint a bamboo? If you have not heard the sound of the cuckoo as the bamboo hears it, how can you paint a bamboo?  Now one never knows how long it will take. . That has been my practice whole life. I paint only that which I have known from its deepest core." The king said: "O.k., I will wait.
 
one year passed. He sent a few people to see what was happening, whether the man was alive or dead. They came and they said: "The man is alive, but we don´t think that he is a man anymore. He is a bamboo. He was swinging with the bamboos in the wind. We passed by his side, he didn´t take any note. We said: 'Hello!' He didn´t hear. We wanted to ask him, we looked at his eyes - they were so empty, that we became frightened. Either he has gone mad or something has happened. And he can do anything! So we escaped. He may kill us! Who knows? He may jump upon us. He´s no more the same man." The king himself went to see. And the master was swinging in the wind, in the sun. And the king asked: "Sir, what about my painting?" He didn´t answer.
 
After two years he appeared in the court. and  said: "Now bring the canvas and the paint, I´m ready. And why were you people disturbing me again and again? If you had not disturbed me, I would have come a little earlier. These fools of your court, they were telling things to me, they were saying: 'Hello!' .. Do you say hello to a bamboo? They disturbed the whole thing. It took month for me again to resettle into being a bamboo and to forget that I am a man. And then you came and you said: 'Sir!' ... Is that a way to address a bamboo? When are you going to paint? ... Has anybody heard that bamboos paint? You are a fool, you are surrounded by fools. I have told you that I will come whenever I´m ready!"Now I am ready ,bring  the canvas .The canvas was brought, the brushes and the colour and within seconds he drew the bamboo. And it is said, that the king wept out of joy. He had never seen such a painting. It was so alive. It was no ordinary painting. It was not from the outside. It was from the bamboo. As if a bamboo had sprouted on the canvas. Not painted. This Great Master was totally involved and  committed.  
 
I remember Reading some where  that  Kamalahassan for his 100h Film Rajaparavai where he  essayed role of Blind  man  it seems spent one  month in  a blind school ,eating talking & sleeping with them  which helped him to get into skin of his character. That  is why if you look at  that movie you feel as if a blind person has acted  not Kamala hassan the actor !

As shiva Khera puts it in a  nice way   in one of his  many inspirational article

“ The kind of commitment I find among the best performers across virtually every field is a single-minded passion for what they do, an unwavering desire for excellence in the way they think and the way they work. Genuine confidence is what launches you out of bed in the morning, and through your day with a spring in your step.”

We can go  on giving number of example of Great Artists, Businessmen , politicians ,Writers , Doctors ,Engineers etc who have achieved in their respective fields .One hallmark that  sets them  apart from us is  their  commitment & Involvement  in what ever  field there  are in  .
 

Without involvement, & commitment  there is no success. Mark it down, asterisk it, circle it, underline it..”
`Stephen R covey

Let it Go

People and circumstances change...accept it. You can only change what is in your power, what you have no control over...let it be...let it go...
-subashita-
We create and maintain problems by  living  in past  because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us.

 Often we replay our  past mistakes, outdated    relationship , regrets ,Failure , ,frustrations ,over and over again in our head, allowing feelings of shame and regret which  in turn shape our actions in the present. We cling to frustration and worry about the future, as if the act of fixation somehow gives us power. We hold stress in our minds and bodies, potentially creating serious health issues, and accept that state of tension as the norm.
Though it may sound simple, Gautama Buddha ’s  advice speaks volumes:

“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.”

Being receptive and allowing things to happen is a skill that can be practiced and improved upon. It helps to believe in a friendly universe—one that is supporting you at every turn so that you don’t have to worry yourself over the details.

. We  often become attached to a person, an idea, a situation, whatever it may be , then suddenly  things change and we receive the advice from our friends and family that we have to “let it go”. So what do we do? We fight with ourselves to let it go. We convince ourselves that we need to detach and this inevitably leads to discontent, dissatisfaction in  our hearts which leads us to  path of  unhappiness. However, we may  all talk but  to  practice it  is  quite difficult 

.Like everyone   else  even   I  have  also gone  through  this  Phase  of  not  letting  go things   , but  gradually  over  a  period of  time  imbibed  the  philosophy  of  LET IT GO  by understanding the  relationship between Detachment & Freedom   
. I was in my 20s, trying to recover some equilibrium in the midst of a difficult situation I  was  passing  through , One morning  I  tuned in the local radio station which happened to be broadcasting Chintana a programme in  kannada where Every day  a well  known  personality in  society  talks on  various  topics  for  15  minutes  
 on  that  day   a respected  swamji  from  Ramakrishna mutt was speaking  on detachment and  freedom. He was mentioning  about  a famous anecdote  the way they used  to  catch  monkey in Northern India. It  seems that they  used to  drop a handful of nuts into a jar with a small opening. The monkey puts his hand into the jar, grabs the nuts, and then finds that he can't get his fist out through the opening. If the monkey would just let go of the nuts, he could escape, but he won't. He  went  on  to  draw parallel between  this  and  us human  being  where we are  attached and  catch  the nuts ,thereby  slipping  into past   life   by not   pulling    out  our  hand ,If  only  we determine to  let  go  our  hand  from  the  Jar .  and  get  our self detached which   made  sense .!!Attachment leads to suffering, Swamji  said ,. It's as simple as that: Detachment leads to freedom.

  Let  it  Go    he concluded .

I felt  he was talking directly to me. yes, I was attached too  much  to  the  past .—and  as a result  definitely   was suffering, letting go of my fistful of nuts seemed unthinkable. I couldn't imagine what life would be without these  past  nuts   like- outdated  relationship, worry, resentment, judgment  etc. Still, the story of the monkey and the jar stayed with me, a depth charge waiting to go off.  Finally  this principle of  letting  Go started sinking   into  my  system  and  slowly  started leaving  the  nuts in  the  Jar  and  pulling  my  hand  out .  LET  IT  GO ...Lesson  Learnt !!

A year later, I had become a  sort of  fledgling yogi. I no longer hung around with people who would listen to my latest troubles. Instead, my time was spent with people whose answer to any expression of discontentment was, "Let it go.  To   large extent I  managed to get rid of the worry, the resentment, and the tendency to brood  over past event . In short, I have started  simply moving  from one behavioral pole to the other, that  is getting  attached and  living  in  past to     following  the  policy of and  living  in  present ..LET  IT  GO ..let  nuts  remain in  Jar !!!

When  the  past calls ,let it Go to Voice  mail .

It has Nothing New  to Say ..

perfection

 ತರಚುಗಾಯವ ಕೆರೆದು ಹುಣ್ಣನಾಗಿಪುದು ಕಪಿ ।
ಕೊರತೆಯೊಂದನು ನೀನು ನೆನೆನೆನೆದು ಕೆರಳಿ ।।
ಧರೆಯೆಲ್ಲವನು ಶಪಿಸಿ ಮನದಿ ನರಕವ ನಿಲಿಸಿ ।
ನರಳುವುದು ಬದುಕೇನೊ ಮಂಕುತಿಮ್ಮ ।।

A monkey scratches a graze and turns it into a wound.
Worrying yourself to no end over an imperfection,
Cursing everything and making your mind a hell:
Is this misery a life too? –Mankuthimma

 Being  Happy  doesn't  mean  everything  is  perfect  it  means  you  have  decided  to  look  beyond the imperfections 

How often do we get upset because something didn't work out exactly the way we wanted? Even if the result was fairly close, we get upset. Upset usually leads to discontent, which then takes us to to path of unhappiness .We usually equate Imperfect to being  unhappy? Does that sound like a great way to live your life?

We get sucked into the whirl pool  called  perfection for one very simple reason: We believe perfection will protect us. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame.

We all need to feel worthy of love and belonging, and our worthiness is on the line when we feel like we are never ___ enough (you can fill in the blank: thin, beautiful, smart, extraordinary, talented, popular, promoted, admired, accomplished). Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. ; it's a shield. Perfectionism is  say  20-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from being seen and taking flight.

  We  are Living in a society that floods us with unattainable expectations around every topic imaginable, from how much we should weigh to how many times a day  we should change  our  cloths.., putting down the perfection shield is scary. Finding the courage, compassion and connection to move from "What will people think?" to "I am enough," is not easy.

 “Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.” How  true !!

 A healthy desire for improvements in all areas of life is not necessarily a bad thing.  However, when we become consumed by what we perceive to be flaws or imperfections, we take on an unhealthy approach to the beauty within.  This can eventually steal from our serenity and happiness.  In order to enjoy becoming a better person in life, we need to start with acceptance of the whole picture as it is.  When we choose to be happy with who we are today, with the good and the bad, we embrace the life we have chosen.  When we choose to be happy, looking beyond our imperfections, we empower ourselves to increase our potential for greatness in life.

 The empowering energy that is in you and that surrounds you allows you to attract more of the same. It has a different vibration, one that is illuminating and inspiring.  We are all looking for progress not perfection in life anyway, so don’t get bogged down.  Just choose to be happy in spite of it all, embrace the blessings and keep moving forward!

After looking closely and  experiencing  varied  emotions like Happiness ,sadness , vulnerability, shame, and authenticity for the past  three decades, one  lesson  I've learned. Is that  not  to  go  after  this  mirage  called perfection but  to accept things as they are, and accept the world as it is. What you receive from life and nature is the ultimate. . Once you understand this fact, you can find happiness everywhere and anywhere in this imperfect world

What  I  feel is  we  should  seek for  Excellence instead  of Perfection as going   after  perfection , its like    aiming  at  pot of  Gold at  the  end of Proverbial  Rainbow which is  always Elusive. Realistically, if we take a step back and truly ascertain what we are trying to achieve, the end result would be excellence.  Perfection may present itself on test scores, but the culmination of our efforts in life will never be the absolute perfection that we seek. But  Excellence

Observe yourself that  Excellence  allows for incremental improvements. This ability does not exist when you focus on perfection. Even though when you try to achieve perfection you will inevitably make incremental improvements, you will never take advantage of them because of your pursuit of the perfect solution. Until you find that solution, you will consider the endeavor a failure   don’t  you  think so  ?

. Stop being a perfectionist.  Nothing in life is perfect.  Why should you expect to be?  It's great to strive for perfection, but when you demand it with such consistency that your world comes crashing down around you because it's not possible, where will you stand?  You can be much happier accepting minor imperfection.  . I suspect the secret of personal attraction is locked up in our unique imperfections, flaws and frailties

“Le mieux est l'ennemi du bien. (The perfect is the enemy of the good.)”

Voltier

Patience

My greatest point is my persistence. I never give up in a match. However down I am, I fight until the last move. My list of matches shows that I have turned a great many so-called irretrievable defeats into victories.- Anotoly karpov-

At some point in the various journeys we embark on in our lives, we get to a part where we feel like giving up. Sometimes we give up before we even start and other times we give up just before we are about to make that huge break-In  spite of we having put so much effort to get  what  we want in  life

Those who have played serious chess know very well that there are many similarities between a chess game and life. It is common in a chess game to get stuck in some bad position – not necessarily because you are bad player; things just happen despite all your preparation and brilliant mind. Any chess player can testify to it – and when you are in a bad position often there is nothing you can do immediately about it. You have to just stick on patiently hoping that it does not get any more worse then this  situation.

Very frequently your opponent makes some bad or weak move(s) (in overconfidence or negligence) and you suddenly start seeing a “ray of hope”. Ultimately your patience pays off: you either come out a winner or with a draw. Patience always pays off. This is what I learned as a state level tournament chess player . There are reasons why I could not pursue my addiction further but I learned a lifelong lesson from Chess – importance of PATIENCE. My best cathartic experience was winning a three hour battle after sitting on a hopelessly precarious situation for almost two  hours! My patient defence somehow exhausted my opponent’s attacking abilities.

Many people can testify that life also throws situations when you are simply stuck in some not-so-good circumstances – have little options to manoeuvre, change or quit, and whatever support you have is not enough. It is not easy to sit out a situation that is full of uncertainties and potential dangers. This is the time when you discover that all your intellectual brilliance suddenly become irrelevant – and you begin to “feel” what it means to be actually “helpless”.

Things like accidents, stock-market loss, discovery of life threatening illness, back-stabbing by someone least expected, or losing everything in a natural disaster.Yes fortunately don’t happen often, but when they do you discover that you are least prepared for it. The path of recovery can often be painfully slow particularly when you have limited choices. This is the time when, not high IQ, but patience and staying power becomes the key to success.

It may also be the time when life enters a different phase and new realities begin to unfold. This transition often requires drastic emotional adjustments and newer survival skills.  During high school I some  how hooked  on  to wonderful  board  game  with  64  squares – chess to be more specific. At that time I never realized that the game would teach me the virtue of patience that would be useful for rest of my life.

There is another lesson that chess gives: There are times when you have to play to “not lose”.

No one likes to lose and it’s normal to play for win. However, there are situations where it is safer to play to avoid losing. Quite commonly you are face to face with a really strong opponent or when it is a period when you are way off your true form. The best strategy under such circumstances is to play for a draw or steer clear of risky situations to minimize the risk of losing. You put all the responsibility of outcome of the game on your opponent and see to it that you make his task as hard as you can. In fact, it can be applied in any sport.

It is fairly common to slip into sadness, isolation and depression when the problem is overwhelming. Severe situations can also becomes an invitation to alcohol or drugs or precipitates some disorders – eating disorder or insomnia are common occurrences, for example. No matter what is happening to you and how ineffective your struggle has become, there is good question to ponder – Have I hit the rock bottom or will go down still further?

When there is nothing but confusion and gloom all around. You really can’t say how long it will last – the only thing you can say is that it will end at some unknown time in future.

For an intelligent person, this is the best time for emotional development – in fact, all hard times are. So problems are actually opportunities – not threats, and the more challenging they are the better for you! Here is the three step strategy to manage the so called rock-bottoms of life.

1. Forget the situation and take control of yourself. Think about it. No matter where you are, you always have the power of control over how you are. You can always resist falling prey to depression or isolation. Do your best to maintain your mental composure. Right now the strategy is to keep your cool and conserve strength.
2. Resolve to wait it out – tenaciously. It is a mental resolve to bear out any mental or physical pain – so drop the anchor and let the storm unfold. Why this works? Because, no storm can go on forever! This is another truth of life. Keep a bigger picture of life in mind.
3. How can I use this opportunity to make myself stronger? Why this could be an opportunity, is a very good question you should be occupied with.

•  “What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

                                                                                    

Crying

Its wrong  to  assume that Men should  not  cry or  express their  emotions  in  public as there is   general  impression  running among   human  beings that  Men  are big strong ,tough who drink beer, fight, work and that's it.  .Well  sorry  to  burst  the  bubble  of  myth  and  welcome to the real world  Men cry and show emotions and absolutely  it  is  perfect to  cry   and  guess what it's shows you are human not a robot who is programmed for only certain things. Even if you flip thru the pages from Human  Hystory you will  find many references  to  man  shedding tears in ancient  Greek and  Roman culture .There were times when it was appropriate for  men to cry  alone .Why talk of  Greek  and  Roman culture our own Lord  Rama cried when  Sita was abducted .

From the time I was a child I believed that  men are  suppose not  to  cry, Its funny how life has changed and men attitudes have changed now and its quite common to see men cry openly. Culture’s view of male crying has continued to evolve  over  a period  of  time

Then how  did this all  start  that  Men  should  not  cry ? I  read some  where that Boys learn this lesson early., as they  age, they make less eye contact than girls and pay more attention to moving objects like cars than to human faces. Both mothers and fathers talk less about feelings (except anger) to sons than daughters, and boys’ vocabularies include fewer “feeling” words. In the playground, if not at home, boys learn to choke back tears and show no fear. Their faces, once as openly emotional as those of girls, become less expressive as they move through the elementary school years. More over as adults, men use fewer words, and they talk, at least in public, as a means of putting themselves in a one-up situation — unlike women, who talk to draw others closer. Even with friends, men mainly swap information as they talk shop, sports, cars, computers. “Women talk to clear their heads, but men think before they talk,” says psychiatrist Mark Goulston, MD, co-author of The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship

.While we still expect men to cry less than women, in some cases it has now become more acceptable for a man to cry than a woman, At least when it comes to our politicians. Yeddurappa  tears in his  home  town shimoga during  his  election campaign  brought some compassion, but also criticism in  some  quarters that  that such vulnerability is  ill-suited for leadership. Our own  Ex prime minister Devegowda  has  choked up several times on various news programs without the slightest attention being paid to it. Many see tears as proof that a man is sensitive and humble and thus well-rounded  and I  am  one  among those  who hold  this  view point ..

 Its good and  also  shows  that  we have feelings ,emotions and we shouldn't feel ashamed to cry. We see lot of   male participants in  Big boss kannada Reality show get caught up in emotions and cry like  kids and I wondered is this the  same set of people   who spoke like  a  true HE  MAN  before entering  the Big boss game  show ?  Coming back to  recent  show that  concluded  in  TV   every Sunday, Aamir Khan  used to wipe the corners of his eyes as he sits listening to tragic stories recounted by brave men and women survivors on Satyamev Jayate. The programme ends with a heart-touching band performance guaranteed to wring tears from the audience. Aamir focuses intensely on the song; the camera waits expectantly till Aamir manages more tears. Satisfied, the camera then cruises to pick out those in the audience who have actually lived the experience of the song, and sure enough, they have broken down too. Everybody comes out cleansed from the experience, feeling they have achieved something.

Tears somehow seem to produce a general sense of well-being and bonhomie. well forget about  them think  of  us mere  mortals  how many times it has  happen to you and  me ? I know yes  I  boldly  confess that many a times I have cried in movie  theatre  .one such  incident  happened when  I was watching Tare Zamin par in  a  movie theatre  and My wife was amused to  see me cry and  commented that  I  was sissy  (wit a smile). I'm not afraid to show my emotions and I think that's a great trait to have and I feel it makes me a better person .

A University of Minnesota found that emotional tears help the body get rid of toxins that we accumulate due to stress and worry. The same does not happen when tears are induced due to non-emotional reasons, such as cutting an onion, tear gas or stinging eyes. People are often encouraged to “have a good cry” when upset. Studies reveal that crying for an extended period tends to have a cathartic effect and makes you feel better. However, people who are depressed or have anxiety disorders, or even those lacking emotional insight, do not feel good after crying.    

 " Yes there is  limit  for  every thing  and sooner  or later you  need to  stop  crying and go  ahead   and  moreover  Too many tears can make observers uncomfortable, but never crying may not be mentally healthy. There  should  be a perfect balance 


Crying is all right in its own way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.” 
― C.S. Lewis

Hero worship

Nadigudem police filed a case against Telugu super star Mahesh Babu following a complaint from Toomu Sateesh Kumar of Tellapalli village that he was addicted to liquor seeing the advertisement of Mahesh Babu. The complainant further said he fell ill as a result he could not attend the interview. The SI said cases have been registered against the Royal Stag owner and distributor along with Mahesh Babu. He also said that action would be taken after consulting with the higher authorities

I  wonder  what  made  this Person  to  file  a  case and  hold  Maheshbabu  responsible .Don’t  you  think it  is  stupidity   on  his  part  to  blame  so  called  celebrity for  his  mistake  of  getting  addicted

 One reason that we care so much about celebrities is that we see these stars as idols. Someone to aspire to become, someone  worth emulating . This can be a good or bad thing, depending on the target of the admiration. The common myth is that celebrities are rich, they are obviously famous, Celebrities can do or have anything they want. In many cases they seem to be above the law. Moreover there are dozens of tabloids that just love to display an un-flattering picture and story of a celebrity  and  make them infallible ! and it  feels  good  to  Ape  them .

  Of  late Indian  Culture is  slowly  being consumerised by  television ads, movies, magazines, newspapers, tabloids, and latest  addition being  Internet which are filled with products to buy and most of these ads have celebrity images pasted all over them. People buy products that they have seen celebrities using on  screen or  print media.  Millions of  Indians  keep tabs on the personal lives of at least a few select celebrities, whether or not they admit it. The average teenager could recite the personal information of karina kaif   better than they could of the local social worker, But why? Why do we care so much about people that we will most likely never meet? What keeps Indians  hungry for more celebrity gossip? blindly  following  them  has  become  order  of  the  day

.., Deep down most people want the lifestyle of a celebrity because they are rich, beautiful, and popular  and  we  need to  follow  them  at  any  cost . Because most people mentally develop with social interaction we seek it in our later life - thus the desire for popularity and acceptance among our peers and cohorts. Modern day sociologist calls minors the "sponges of our culture." Most celebrity fixating begins in the years before adulthood. Sociologists and psychologists now know that our behaviours are not developed by biological deterministic factors but by sociological deterministic factors. The sociological deterministic factors that guide our behaviour originate from one or all of the agents of socialization: family, school/education, peer/cohort groups, mass media, and work.  The reason why we view celebrities to a higher standard then an average everyday person is because we are brought up with that idea placed in our minds as children which then stays in our minds throughout our  later part of our lives .

one  such thing  is  media glorification to  be  blamed which  places everything   and  anything on  celebrity  as  breaking  news!! .other day  I turn on local  news channel  and they were filled with news on local film  actor airing  his  views on  his wife  and  how  he  is  planning to  ditch  her !!. and  you switch  on  to  other  channels  again  the  same  story  is  repeated and  added  to  this   a big  panel  discussion on  this so called  breaking  news was underway .I  wonder  Why does anyone care what goes on in this  actors  personal life? They are people like you  and  me  and they put their pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else. As Dr  Wayne W  dyer in  his  famous  book  your  Erroneous   zone  says ‘All of  your heroes are  people .They itch  where  you  itch they  have bad breath in  the  morning just  like you ,..and  he  goes on  to  say that All your  Heroes or  celebrities are no better then you ,in  any way ,,politicians ,actors ,athletes, rock stars  or  whoever  are just skilful at what they do –nothing more None of these  so  called  celebrities   are any better than anyone else. They may have a special talent, so  it good for  them  but everyone else has a special talent too.

We have far too many problems in our world and important things to address that are newsworthy, than to be worrying about a celebrity’s short comings. Do I agree with his behaviour? Absolutely not, but it’s none of my business. Sports figures and celebs are given way too much clout in our society. If you want to celebrate their positive achievements and enjoy their work, that’s one thing, but to put them in the position of being able to decide how  you  should  lead your  life  is ridiculous, and  it  is  also  sheer stupidity  to blindly  use the  products  they  endorse   whether it  is  toothbrush , beer or  safety pin  .for  all  you  know a  celebrity   endorsing  beer  may  drink  milk  in  his  real  life !!

let’s quit giving these people so much power over our lives.

“We are all alike on the inside.”
― Mark Twain

priority

Make the decision today to take back control of your life. Set right priorities, pre-plan your life and start  living on purpose.  –Sir  M Vishveshwarahia-

We pass though different stages in our lives. Each stage with it brings new challenges that have the potential to make or break us. What we pick ultimately becomes part of our destiny. When it boils down to choices, priorities help us to clear the confusion and put things in right perspective. When we know what is important for us in our lives, our efforts and energy gets streamlined in a definite direction to help us achieve the impossible. Setting priorities in life is more of a skill which helps us remain focused and value things that matter the most

This is a story from one of the books of India, called "Lives of Saints". There was a young man, a Brahmin by birth, in a certain village. The man fell in love with a bad woman in another village. There was a big river between the two villages, and this man, every day, used to go to that girl, crossing this river in a ferry boat. Now, one day he had to perform the obsequies of his father, and so, although he was longing, almost dying to go to the girl, he could not. The ceremonies had to be performed, and all those things had to be undergone; it is absolutely necessary in Hindu society. He was fretting and fuming and all that, but could not help it. At last the ceremony ended, and night came, and with the night, a tremendous howling storm arose. The rain was pouring down, and the river was lashed into gigantic waves. It was very dangerous to cross. Yet he went to the bank of the river. There was no ferry boat

. The ferrymen were afraid to cross, but he would go; his heart was becoming mad with love for the girl, so he would go. There was a log floating down, and he got that, and with the help of it, crossed the river, and getting to the other side dragged the log up, threw it on the bank, and went to the house. The doors were closed. He knocked at the door, but the wind was howling, and nobody heard him. So he went round the walls and at last found what he thought to be a rope, hanging from the wall. He clutched at it, saying to himself, "Oh, my love has left a rope for me to climb." By the help of that rope he climbed over the wall, got to the other side, missed his footing, and fell, and noise aroused the inmates of the house, and the came out and found the man there in a faint.

She revived him, and noticing that he was smelling very unpleasantly, she said, "What is the matter with you? Why this stench on your body? How did you come into the house?" He said, "Why, did not my love put that rope there?" She smiled, and said, "What love? We are for money, and do you think that I let down a rope for you, fool that you are? How did you cross the river?" "Why, I got hold of a log of wood." "Let us go and see," said the girl. The rope was a cobra, a tremendously poisonous serpent, whose least touch is death. It had its head in a hole, and was getting in when the man caught hold of its tail, and he thought it was a rope.

 The madness of love made him do it. When the serpent has its head in its hole, and its body out, and you catch hold of it, it will not let its head come out; so the man climbed up by it, but the force of the pull killed the serpent. "Where did you get the log?" "It was floating down the river." It was a festering dead body; the stream had washed it down and that he took for a log, which explained why he had such an unpleasant odour. The woman looked at him and said, "I never believed in love; we never do; but, if this is not love, the Lord have mercy on me. We do not know what love is. But, my friend, why do you give that heart to a woman like me? Why do you not give it to God? You will be perfect." It was a thunderbolt to the man's brain. He got a glimpse of the beyond for a moment. "Is there a God?" "Yes, yes, my friend, there is," said the woman. And the man walked on, went into a forest, began to weep and pray. His  priority  changed  from  that  on  wards ,paradigm shift from  Girl  to  GOD .Throughtout  his  life  till  then  his  priority  was  this  girl and  all his  thoughts , action  everything  whatever  he  did was  focussed on  this  girl and  in  the  bargain  he  risked his  life to  meet  her by  taking  help  of  a  sepent , dead  body  what  not ..Passion  yes this  young  man  had  mountain  of   passion  but  his  priority  was  wrong  

How  do  you  relate  to  yours  and  my  life ? Your life today is a result of the right or wrong priorities you have set. Is your life controlling you or are you in control of your life. our life is the same way. People spend the majority of their life living off of what was purchased in the check out line rather than what was pre-planned. Not planned, not orchestrated and not intended. Then  how  to to clear the confusion and put things in right perspective

Of  late I  have  slowly  started  adopting one  principal  which  has  helped  me  to  a  great  extent  and  remove  confusion  in my  life  as I I  have understood difference between      important  &  urgent . and  have started preparing  the  day  in  advance by  setting the day, and sticking to the  priority set to  best  of  my ability Allow your life to be governed by what is important rather than what is urgent. There are always multiple things that could be done.

 In the horse and buggy of life, which are you? Are you making the choices for your life or is life making the choices for you?
If you don’t prepare your day before hand, your day will tell you what to do. Do something with life or life will do something with you .Right  priority is  the  key

The mark of a great man is one who knows when to set aside the important things in order to accomplish the vital ones.
- Brandon Sanderson