orphanage

What could be nobler than spending time with kids at an orphanage, right? The smile that greets you when you enter their home, makes for a better picture than any camera could capture.
You generally think that such a visit will bring joy to these children. In reality perhaps, your visit to an orphanage gives you more than it gives the kids. The innocence of their world leaves your soul churning. Imagine When you meet a three-year-old boy, and learn that he has inherited HIV from his dead parents, you find yourself questioning if god exists.
They know they have a bimari, a disease that ripped them away from their families and made them orphans.
They appear overjoyed when you give them gifts. Some love it when you read them stories. When they fall asleep on your lap, you don’t want to move till they wake up.
When you sit with them, and talk to them, you become their window to the ‘normal’ world. “Where do you work? How much do you earn? Do you have kids? Where do you live? How big is your home?” They ask all sort of questions.
But the real questions that they are seeking answers for, lie hidden in their hearts – “Can I also do what you do, when I grow up? Can I also live how you live?
You think, a visit from you makes ample difference to their simple lives. But what if, instead of making a difference, we end up making them realise that they are different?
This was long back probally 10 years back One Sunday, a friend and I decided to sponsor lunch for an orphanage that houses around 30 less privileged kids.
We arrived at the orphanage at around 11am. There was a birthday party going on. What I saw that day really moved me.
The birthday girl was dressed in a pink princess dress with a glittering tiara on her head. She was being spoilt silly by her parents. She looked very happy as she cut cake and handed out gifts, while her parents took her pictures.
But then there were the less privileged kids. The orphans, for whom this birthday treat was supposed to bring joy, were sitting around her wearing forced expressions.
Imagine, you only get a Sunday to get up late, not go to school, and play all day. But on this day every week, strangers come to your home, to enjoy their birthdays and anniversaries.
These kids were made to sing the birthday song. They sang without any emotion, as if it was a routine they played out every weekend. They posed for the pictures with a manufactured smile.
Many kids in that orphanage have been abandoned by their family . The way these children looked at the birthday girl being pampered by her family spoke everything they couldn’t say. They wished they could be her. No one celebrated their birthdays after all.
They were very happy to receive gifts and chocolates though. I offered my chocolate to a little boy sitting beside me and he refused saying, neevu en tintira ?” (what will you eat?). Tears welled up in my eyes.
Many of us celebrate our or our children’s birthdays in an orphanage with good intentions. Some of us do it to make our children develop empathy. While our intentions are noble, it can be less than pleasant for these kids.
By celebrating our birthdays at an orphanage, we make orphans feel even more like orphans.
Here’s a thought - instead of celebrating your birthday with them, why not celebrate theirs

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charity

Do you want to live an exciting life. One thing I have been advised to do to live an exciting life is to help others with expecting anything in return. Imagine the people you would meet if you would hold the door open to strangers. Imagine the people you would meet if you gave a smile to a stranger. Little acts of kindness make the world a happier place.

It does not matter what you do or who you are there are people around you that could do with your help. When you do help do not view the act of help as a deposit that you expect back something in return. Just help and write off any expectations of return. Help your friends, help your colleagues and help strangers.

According to Bhagwad Geeta, there is a famous saying that all the living beings on this earth have come empty handed and they will go back empty handed. They brought nothing of their own and they will take along nothing. Everything that they have built is going to be left behind when they leave this world. But still, human mind aspires, to achieve money, glory, power and success. Sometimes, the aspirations and desires grow to the levels of obsession and hence they eliminate the difference between right and wrong. They simply work hard to achieve whatever it takes to become the ultimate conqueror of the world.

But the question is that what should be done? Should people work hard to achieve the best of what they want or they should understand the truth about this world? What would help them to become a better human being? There is a wonderful story that talks about that in detail:

According to Jainism, in heaven, there is a parallel mountain to Himalayas, which is called Sumeru. It is the highest ever mountain and is made of Gold. It is studded with precious diamonds, rubies and other jewels. Whoever conquers the world gets the honor to engrave his name on this mountain after his death and departure to heaven, as a symbol of glory.

It happens only once in a thousand years that someone gets to become a Chakravartin aka conqueror of the world. Even alexander the great was not the conqueror of the world. This is a story about a Chakravartin, who had conquered the world and got a chance to go to the Sumeru Mountain up in the heaven to engrave his name.

As he reached there, with his prime minister, his wife and his commander-in-chief, to write his name, he was stopped by the gatekeeper, who suggested him to go alone. But, the king was adamant to take his people along because they had sacrificed their lives to come along with him and he wanted them to see his name glorified on the golden mountain. But, the king agreed to go alone to write his name first and then call the three in to see it as suggested by the gatekeeper. As he reached inside, he was stunned to see that there was no space for him to write a name. He was confused and he asked the gatekeeper about it. The gatekeeper told him that the mountain had been there for eternity and if he had to write his name, he would have to erase someone else’s name and write his own. This is what had been happening for eternity, as per the gatekeeper. The king decided to not write his name by erasing someone else’s because he knew this would happen to his name also, one day. He understood that there’s nothing in name and fame.

Humans are here on the earth to work, do their karma and they should never run away from that. They should work hard and relish all the enjoyments without growing obsessed to it. They should understand that everything that they have created is going to stay here. Hence, they should never be proud of creating anything. They should be humble and intelligent enough to not look for credits for their work. They should know that whatever they have done has been done before.. and remember this great saying by Charles Dicken

"There were two classes of charitable people: one, the people who did a little and made a great deal of noise; the other, the people who did a great deal and made no noise at all."