Bystander effect

 

A 19-year-old girl harassed by   youths was kicked out of a moving train by them near Maddur on Tuesday afternoon. She survived miraculously, but suffered grievous injuries.,later  she  reportedly told ;no  one came to  my  aid

Earlier  a teenager in  Gawahati was molested by a  mob on  a busy  road before  she  was  rescued  by cops she too said  nobody came  to  my  rescue 

We  can  go  on and  on regarding  such  incidences  which keep  on occurring time and again and  in  most  of  the  cases public plays  the  role  of  mute spectator.

  During  all  these  happenings   one word  which  kept  on tossing during  discussion everywhere is    BYSTANDER EFFECT   or  Genova  syndrome

 Lot  of  questions came to  my  mind  like  why  people react or not  react proactively during  these  kind  of situation ? is  this syndrome  confined  to  India?or  is  it a recent  development ?or is  it universal?..Surprisingly this  bystander effect is universal and as  old  as  civilization  and not  confined to particular Race or  country  !!This has happened earlier, happening  now and continue to  happen  in future  as  well.

Think  about a  situation in  Mahabharata where when Draupathi  was about to be molested  by Dushashana   everyone   including  Bhisma  pithamaha  was a  mute  spectator or  a  bystander till  Lord Krishana rescued .Well, we  may  give hundreds  of  Explanation to  justify the  act but  this  is  fact .. Ok  let  us  leave  this  for  pundits  to  discuss  and let  me  share with  you regarding Bystander effect and what can  be  done when  we are  into  this kind of  situation 

..Before this let  us  know  what  is this Bystander effect .

The bystander effect or Genovese syndrome is a social psychological phenomenon that refers to cases where individuals do not offer any means of help in an emergency situation to the victim when other people are present. The  word Genovese  came into  existence  when  Catherine Susan "Kitty" Genovese  a New York City woman was stabbed to death near her home in the Kew neighbourhood of the borough of Queens in New York City, on March 13, 1964 and lack of reaction from  her  Neighbors .To determine the underlying reasons why these witnesses failed to help,  two psychologists conducted a series of lab experiments to examine how the presence of others influences people's helping  behavior in an emergency situation. The results of these studies suggest there are two clear reasons why the eyewitnesses fail  to help .that  is  Pluralistic Ignorance and . Diffusion of responsibility

Let  me  try to  explain these  two findings for  our  understanding 

 1.Pluralistic Ignorance

Pluralistic ignorance describes a situation where a majority of group members privately believe one thing, but assume (incorrectly) that most others believe the opposite.

 Coming  out with  a  Example , pluralistic ignorance explains why  students often fail to ask questions in class. When they  fail  to  understand  some  subject .Before raising  hand, he will likely look around to see if any of his fellow students seem confused or have their hand up as well. If no one else looks puzzled, he will conclude that he is the only one in the room that didn't understand, To avoid looking stupid he may choose to keep his hand down and not ask further  question. But we  know that if one student is unsure about the subject, odds are most of the students are. So in this situation  the  students  as  a  whole are suffering from pluralistic ignorance because each one assumes they are the only one confused, when in fact all the students are confused and all of them are incorrectly concluding that they are the only one. The same process can occur when we witness an ambiguous emergency situation. All the bystanders may look to each other to determine if they are witnessing a crime, and if no one reacts, then everyone will wrongly conclude that this is not an emergency and no one will step up and help. The fact that several of the eyewitnesses in Gawhati case  were laughing and taking photos with their cell phones suggests that they simply failed to realize they were witnessing a barbaric  act  and instead may have thought it was a prank.

So we now that one reason why people fail to help is because they don't realize they are witnessing a crime, but how can we use this information to our advantage? First, if you find yourself in an ambiguous situation, resist the urge to look to others and go with your gut instinct. If you think there is even a possibility that someone is in need, act on it. At worst, you will embarrass yourself for a few minutes, but at best, you will save a life. Second, if you are unfortunate enough to find yourself the victim and are in need of help, make sure you make it clear to those around you that this is an emergency situation. Shout ,yell, but  do not keep quite

2. Diffusion of Responsibility
 
Even if people recognize that they are witnessing a crime, they may still fail to intervene if they do not take personal responsibility for helping the victim. The problem is that the more bystanders there are, the less responsible each individual feels. When you are the only eyewitness present, 100% of the responsibility for providing help rests on your shoulders. But if there are five eyewitnesses, only 20% of the responsibility is yours. I  think  you  understood  logic!  The responsibility becomes defused or dispersed among the group members. In these situations, people may assume that someone else will help or that someone else is better qualified to provide assistance.

So once again, how can we use the knowledge garnered from this study to our advantage? First, if you find yourself in an emergency situation with several fellow bystanders, realize that your first instinct (and the first instinct of those around you) will be to deny responsibility for helping the victim. By simply being aware of the diffusion of responsibility process, it may snap you out of the biased way of thinking and cause you to realize that you and everyone present is each 100% responsible for helping the victim. Second, if you find yourself in need of help, it is up to you to actively make one of your eyewitnesses feel personally responsible for your well-being. When we are in need of help and there is a crowd watching, we often plead for help to anyone that is listening, thinking that at least one person will step up to intervene. Focus on one  individual, you suddenly make that person feel completely responsible for your safety and this increases the odds that they will help. The same technique can be used if you are trying to get several others to help you assist a victim. Point to one person and tell them to go get help; point to another and tell them to call emergency number. Giving specific instructions to specific people counteracts the diffusion of responsibility process To  be  proactive is  advisable

But question  is why generally   people do not help and  prefer to  be  a  bystander?

 “People are scared,”, says a senior official at New Delhi-based All India Democratic Women’s Association. “Scared of the threat to their lives, scared of indulging in a court room drama, even scared the accused could possibility manipulate the police.”
So if you are witnessing something wrong on the street, its the thought "I should go in and stop them" that goes in your mind, but "What will happen to me and my family, if I intervene?". This is the thing which makes people more of a bystander than anything else.

Do  not have  this  ambiguity in  your  mind ,Help people in  need…  think  for  a  while

…. do we  remain as a  bystander if the  victim who  needs your  help is your best friend ,close  relative ,brother ,sister  daughter  or for  that  matter if the  Victim is YOU

 don’t  you wish  some   one  from the  crowd rushes to  help  you ? 

I expect to pass through life but once.  If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to fellow being in distress, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.  ~author  unknown

Overcoming Monday Blues

As I entered  office  on  Monday  morning  I  overheard  some  one  complaining  oh ! not  Again  Monday….  ..“Monday blues” – it’s a fairly common malaise, in fact, lot of people I meet don’t seem to really enjoy their jobs at all and sometimes it seems they live weekend to weekend. I think that’s a crying shame, especially considering how much time we all spend at work.
; Think about it; – most people sleep around 8 hours a day, probably spend 2-3 hours on mealtimes, getting dressed etc., and pretty much the rest either at work or getting to and from it. If those 9-12 hours are hours of discontent stretches week after  week ,year after  year..Where  is  the  end  to  this ? 

No, I am not talking about quitting jobs to become a freelancer or  running away from it all. I am talking about changing the approach to work. For me a big part of having a heart at work is getting 100% involved  that  is not  only  being  there  physically  but  also  mentally  and  Enjoy  whatever  work  you  are  doing.

If you cannot work in a state of joy, don’t work at all. Otherwise you’re doing more harm than good, both to yourself and others, even if you have the talent to sing like an angel and if  you  hate  singing then it  is the  biggest crime, No amount of money can compensate for that kind of damage.
Say if  I am going to spend 50-60 hours a week doing something, I sure as hell want to enjoy it! Better  Enjoy  then  to  crib!! And a big part of having fun is not what the actual work is, but how you go about it. E.g. say you are  a hair stylist –. You can approach the  job grumpily, whinge the whole time and generally be miserable before you do it as you’re dreading doing it, while you do it since you hate it, you may feel sorry for your self the whole time, and after you do it, because “it’s not fair”, you’d rather have done something else. Why  not enjoy the  work, get  involved,not only  hairstylist ,even  a person  cleaning  the  road or  a  cook ,or  a IAS  officer can really get  best  out  of  their  work  by  being  there 100% not  only  physically  but  also mentally and  Enjoying the work


I  remember a story  which  really Emphasizes this  point

A Builder was building a magnificent Temple.  During one  of  his  routine inspection  he saw  three workers toiling away in the hot sun doing the exact same task – smashing rocks with a sledgehammer.  He asked each what he was doing and why.  The first man answered “I’m breaking rocks because I get paid to break rocks.”  The second man answered “I’m making small stones that will go into the wall of that building and I do it to feed my family.”  The third man answered “I’m helping construct a wonderful Temple. 

Here  was  a  person  who  had  heart  in  his  work ,giving  100%  

Of course if you do want to do  something fulfilling, it’s important to make sure your heart is in it. I mean your heart – not your Dads or Mums or girl friend’s. Too many times, people think they are following their heart but are confused because they’ve allowed people they care about to decide what’s important for them.
So how can you tell if your heart is in something? Does it make you come alive? Do you feel yourself light up when you think about it? Do you feel excited and happy imagining what it would be like? Is it FUN? Do you lose track of time when you do it? If you cannot think of anything that makes you feel alive and happy when you do it, and  believe me  if  you  cannot work with  love but only  with  distaste, it  is  better that you  should leave your work and  sit  at  the  gate of  the  temple and take alms of  those who  work  with  joy
 to work from love instead of for money.
As  some  one  has  rightly  said

Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching.

Then  the  point  is how  to  get best out  of  your  present  job?

When you are starting to do whatever it is that is making you miserable, you have a choice and it is truly your choice.  It is not being forced upon you.  You can chose to hope on the train full of miserable complaining people and join in all the wallowing, or you can skip it and take a nice pleasant walk instead.  This was a very hard lesson for me to learn, but I finally learned it.  I spent years talking myself into frequent misery and joining others on the misery train.  I still fall into that trap sometimes because I am human.  As often as I can remember to make that choice, I talk a pleasant walk instead.

Focus on what’s good and enjoyable about it and you’ll be surprised at how quickly your experience will flip around. And there’s nothing “wrong” with being in a job that’s not your dream job while you’re figuring out what you want, or because it’s the best option you see available at present. Remember even Einstein was a Patents clerk while he was figuring out E=MC2! And  Rajinkant  was  a  bus conductor
 Few  things I  felt  would  really  help us in  enjoying  whatever  work  we  are  doing and  believe  me  it  has  helped  me  a lot...

 First of  all Accept That You Don’t Control the Universe

If I could snap my fingers right now and be free from having to earn a living, be transported to a beautiful beach in front of a lovely resort enjoying  my  time  with family, I would snap my fingers.  But alas, the universe doesn’t work that way.  When you accept that you control your actions but not the outcomes, you automatically become much happier and thus less miserable.  Stop continually focusing on the gap between where you are and where you want to be and your misery level will drop dramatically.

Most of  us need  to  work as we  are  not  born  with  silver  spoon

Having  worked  for  many  years I  would  like  to  share  few golden  rules  which will  help in sailing  smoothly  without  much  hassle

• First and  foremost learn every  thing about  your  job profile
• Practice not gossiping and talking about other people negatively.
• You can literally spend all day practicing being in the moment, not being affected by what happened five minutes ago and not worrying about what is going to happen tomorrow.  An incredible skill-building opportunity!
• Work on building personal and professional networks.
• When you write emails or other documents, practice your written communication skills.  Work on a crisp, clear, style of writing that is perfect for emails.  You can also practice presentation skills and computer skills.
• Take any training offered that gets you away from the job and lets you build useful skills.  Ask for training for anything you can relate to your job.  You will be surprised how often it is allowed.
• By definition if it is a job you don’t really like, you will have tremendous opportunity to practice the skills of remaining calm in stressful situations, detaching from outcomes, looking for the bright-side of things, and being happy no matter what your circumstances.
• Stay alert at all times for opportunities to grow in some way.  You will never run out of them.

To get the benefit, you have to stay aware of consciously building specific skills.  Otherwise, you’ll just fall back into the “I hate my job” habits.

Whatever it is you are doing, reflect on why you chose to do it and focus on those positives and do not dwell on what is making you miserable.  I’ve done this and it works wonders for me.

Work intensely and hard, really getting into it for a period of time; say 30 to 45 minutes.  Then alternate that with a break; even a longish break.  Take a walk, meditate, listen to some music, read a book, surf then internet, , or whatever you can get away with.  .  You will probably be many times more productive than you were before.  I can also guarantee you that the time you spend working will be more enjoyable as a result.  Forcing yourself to go with gusto for a period of time is much easier and more enjoyable than sloshing through a whole

I could go on and on, and perhaps I’ve gone on too long already.  I wish I could explain it in 200 words, but I can’t.  Ultimately it’s something you have to experiment with and work out yourself. Enjoy  your  work     Chill  out !!!