Role Model

role model

Rahul Dravid says former Australian Captain was his role Model and he used to Imitate his Mannerism to get into right frame of mind

“I saw in Steve Waugh My Road map to Build My Career’

All the Greats of this world had their heroes/Role models. They had someone that they studied and emulated. They all had someone on whose shoulders they stood to reach greater height than had never been attained before. They knew and understood the importance of identification with some one who has reached heights - they knew it and used it well.

Role models are not hard to find. They are all around us, in real life or in biographies. They have earned and deserve our respect and admiration.

Role models are highly important for us psychologically, helping to guide us through life during our development, to make important decisions that affect the outcome of our lives, and to help us find happiness in later life.

. The most important single influence in the life of a person is another person ... who is worthy of emulation.

- Paul D. Shafer-

Some outstanding people Deserve respect and admiration. Doing so is not immature. It’s the expression of someone who is big enough and mature enough to see and emulate

However There is a Thin line between Hero worship and role model

Extremism in any kind of human expression is undoubtedly wrong. On the other hand, milder forms of such expressions what we call as role model might offer invaluable tools for self improvement milder forms of admiration for our heroes and role models can be most beneficial; providing it is freely done and not part of an orchestrated indoctrination process .We need guidance and inspiration. We need to know how exceptional people lived their life, what their values were, what motivated them and, ultimately what results they obtained. Their experiences provide invaluable knowledge and they show the path that has to be followed if we want to obtain similar results. Another great benefit that the particularity of being attracted to outstanding people provides is an uplifting boost in self-esteem. or personal growth and advancement

We identify closely with our heroes and they become part of our emotional world. They become the mirrors into which we see part of our self-image and, as time goes by, some minor blending of our images and the hero’s begins to occur

Admiration for someone creates an emotional bond that could be described as a virtual relationship. In this sense, people that we have never met may be seen as friends or peers. They actually enter the dynamic of our social circle. That is due to the fact that the subconscious cannot tell the difference between a real or imaginary situation, so it stands to reason that this virtual relationship will be perceived, up to a point, as being real and genuine.

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Thanks to that virtual self and hero relationship, the way that we perceive ourselves begins to change. As it happens, self-confidence will be elevated, and self-esteem heightened. It may be a slow process but it is a very beneficial transformation.

We slowly gravitate and eventually blend into the type of person that we associate with. And that holds true whether that association is physical or virtual. Unconsciously, we adapt some of the traits and characteristics of our peers, real or otherwise.

Why reinvent the wheel? If someone else has already discovered a formula for success in your industry, for example, why not learn from what they’ve done as opposed to spending the time and energy trying to figure out for yourself what someone else already knows. The idea behind a role model or mentor isn’t to copy exactly what they’ve done and to become a clone of that person. Instead, you want to study what made the person you admire successful and/or focus on specific qualities you like about that person and learn as much as possible from them.
You can obviously never meet or speak with former President John F. Kennedy,or Mahatma Gandhi for example, but you can read all about them watch documentaries about them, and learn about their philosophies and accomplishments. You can than adopt some of their personal qualities base upon what you learn. You can then use this acquired knowledge to help you become successful in whatever it is you set out to achieve.
Finally few tips on Role model

· True role models are those who possess the qualities that we would like to have and those who have affected us in a way that makes us want to be better people. We often don't recognise our true role models until we have noticed our own personal growth and progress.

· Keep in mind that having a role model does not mean you become exactly like that person, remember to retain your individuality. Emulate them, but put your own individuality into the things they do.

· A role model should be someone who you want to be like, and someone you admire.

· Be your own role model. This means to do the things that you would admire someone else for doing.

· A role model doesn't need to be alive nor real.

lastly one final Say on Role model

Though it’s important not to put role models on a pedestal!! If they’re human and real then they need to be recognized as such. Everyone makes mistakes and so to follow anyone blindly is a mistake

Choosing a role model is important and following them will help us to achieve the desired result

child care

Spare the rod or spoil the child. Are these adages true of parenting methods today or are they so obsolete in the world of technological advances? Are values, norms and principles the basis of a well-rounded personality or computer know-how, smart talk of gadgetry or adeptness at the bowling alley the traits of a balanced person? Why are we raising a generation that is confused, imbalanced and aimless?

Children today are a mixture  of the east and west. They are aping the west with footholds in an eastern upbringing. Who is responsible for this discordance? Are today's parents providing their children with just the right guidance to help create a balanced person? How far are they meeting the challenges of good parenting?

Let’s take a look at the modern day father: he has a steady job yet he is in a constant pursuit to provide for his family’s material comforts. As is the modern day working mother who, in the quest for getting richer to fulfill her child's material necessities, may sometimes forget her primary task of raising her child in a certain manner. No doubt financial well being is vital to put your children through good institutions but is this the only way parents can fulfill their responsibilities? In this rat race to provide the best why don’t we stop and ponder whether we are making our children better human beings so that they can grow into responsible citizens? “I think it’s better for parents to send their children to an ordinary school and have time to talk to them and spend time with them. This is an important concept of quality time. In this scientific age parents need to play an important role in helping their children explore their intellectual capabilities,” says Dr. Pai a consultant psychiatrist with vast experience in child’s psychiatry.

Old fashioned theories are now proving to be truer. In an Endeavor to discipline a child one does not need to beat him to a pulp but a parent has to reprimand a child each time he/she has committed a folly. “A parent will alone tell the child the difference between good and bad. They have to set rules. The crux of the matter is that there is nowadays no importance attached to morals. Parents feel that by striving hard to provide facilities and sending children to expensive schools, they have done their job.In this search for material happiness we have lost the core. If a person does not have a basic personality structure, which tells him to distinguish good from bad then he will never succeed. If a mother does not teach a child basic hygiene, manners, courtesy and the way to conduct himself, he will never be a good human being.” Therefore, a well brought up child will never be rude to his elders, he might get grumpy but he will never be disobedient; this is the difference between a good upbringing  child and a street child. And this very concept is not being inculcated by parents nowadays.

Discipline will also teach a child awareness about his priorities. It is this conditioning that will stay with him for life. For example, if there is some occasion in the family and a child’s exams are clashing with the event. the child should be aware that all things aside, his studies are his main priority. If a child wants to read, watch TV or indulge in some hobby, a parent should chalk out a timetable.

Fathers today and yesterday have always been busy but in the past they regularly talked to their children and showed concern for their progress and guided them. Not every child is born a Mathma Gandhi or an Sachin tendulkar to know what he is going to do with his life
One of the problems of living in today’s information technology era is information overload. A child needs some space. If he is bombarded with too many choices then he’s bound to be a wreck. In comparison, a child coming from a village will fare better than his urban counterpart because he has been exposed to fewer choices. “Children from villages tend to be more successful then children from cities whose parents have constantly been after them, thereby confusing them. It was simpler in the olden days when opportunities were few and children knew they had limited choices. With an avalanche of ideas, growing children especially either get into wrong things or become depressed. So, parents should make children concentrate on one thing at a time.

Dancing ,  singing , cricket    pick  up  one   at a  time

In a condition called post-traumatic stress disorder if a child sees some trauma the memory can become permanent by chemical substances going to the brain and storing the episode. If the child is treated then the consequences are not alarming and the flashbacks do not occur. Similarly if the child is being flooded with information from the beginning then it gets confused and to avoid such cases, parents have to involve children in nourishing activities when children are in their impressionable age. They should filter anything that is violent and instead expose them to healthy and developmental activities with reading being the best. “Children need to be focused,” says Dr. Pai. “A child is more than a sapling; it thinks and feels and its sensitivity should not be overlooked.

It  is  really  harmful  to  watch WWF  or  playing violent  video  games  .

“I think by and large parents, both in the past and present, think well for their children. The only thing a parent should be aware of is his child’s needs. A child needs regimentation, guidance and discipline and no amount of discourse can challenge what has been psychologically proven.” How a parent imparts the dos and don’ts varies but the one principle that should be set is that until the child is in his parents home he has to abide by rules and when he is on his own he can do whatever he wishes.

The most common problem amongst parents is over ambitiousness. Mothers are pushing their children to perfect a number of skills. At a school going age a parent should monitor their child’s abilities; if the child is not above average then he should be left to do well in his studies. It’s not necessary that a child be a champion in whatever he does. “However, it is important at this stage that a child’s grades are good, that he should have a comfortable personality and above all be healthy. In fact this leads us to two extremes of parents one group the over- conscientious and the other who think that by sending children to school their responsibility is over comments.

The modern day parent is beset with a Goliath in the form of television. The west, which has suffered the scourge of the medium, is now resorting to a rationing of television viewing because its easy accessibility has opened windows to undesirable information. Parents need to ration television viewing according to their will and should filter what their children are watching. “It has become necessary to provide a television and DVDin every room and for many parents, the computer has turned into a menace. There are so many parents who are not aware of what their child is doing on the computer. Is he working on it, watching a movie or going to pornographic sites, or having an affair in chat rooms? Parents believe that the child is working wonders over the computer. One shouldn’t be so naive. Parents should know what their child is doing and the best way to gauge this is through his grades. There are no short cuts to education and parents need to instill this habit of ‘putting sweat into studies’

 There is a very unique side to children’s upbringing in our culture in the concept of an extended family. Grandparents, aunts and uncles play a very important role in shaping a personality. Parents are the first and foremost best role models but the extended family follows closely behind. Children look up to an aunt or uncle and may in future adopt their career choices. A home is made with the love and interaction of its occupants. Many in today’s family lack that interaction and as a result children lead closeted lives, more like tenants where they are not aware of the other. Children should not be left alone with their doors closed. This can lead to depression and other bad habits. A mother should exactly know what her child is doing. A child can never find a substitute for a parent and parents need to realize that children are more than expensive orchids who need constant attention and grooming.

Situational Leader

As  we  are  aware Lord  Krishna stopped Playing  his  flute after  Death  of  Radha

It  is  said  that Radha Requested Krishna to  play  the  Flute  for  her  sake so  that

She  could Die  Peacefully  in  his  arm .

What  it  has  connection to  stop  playing  flue?  What  is  the  significance?

Radha represent Prakruti and  Krishna  represent Purusha

Prakruthi  is  other  form  of  purusha  and  ultimately  it  has  to  merge with  Purusha

Now  The  instrument  Flute  represent  Medium and with  this  divine  instrument

Representing all  forms  of  Vedas, Upanishads  and  all truths  needed  in  Bhakti yoga

 Prakruthi feels  urge  to be  with Purusha and this  is thru  Bhakti  yoga  there is  a  union

 Basically  we  can  divide  the  Krishna episode into  two  form  Bhakti yoga

And  Karma yoga  and  lord descended on  earth  to teach  us  on  this  two form  of truth

And  with  two  sets  of People

With Radha  and  gopikas he  unfolded  the  truth in  form  of  Bhakti  yoga   and  Flute  was  used as  medium and  once Radha  departed he  felt  that  his  mission  was  accomplished   and  no  longer  he  used  flute  as    instrument

Next  comes   Unfolding  karma yoga that  happens in  kurushatra . here  Krishna

Uses Conch  as  a  instrument  to  connect  with different  sets  of  people like Arjuna

He advocates Karma yoga  and  urges  Arjuna  to  battle  it  out .

Once  the  war  is  over  he  stops  using  the  conch  !!

Suppose he  uses  conch with  Radha and  gopias  they  would  have probably  ran  off

And  using  flute  as  a  instrument  in War time  will not  have     impact 

Lord  Krishna  is  a Excellent Situational Leader  and  knows  the  kind  of  people

He  is  addressing  and  appropriately  used  the  instrument and  stopped using  the  instrument  once  mission  was  accomplished 

Appreciation

There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.

Mother Tharesa

Peak summer  ,  after  visiting one  of  my  client   , parked  my  vehicle  near   a  quick Darshni joint in one  of  many  labyrinth by lanes  in  peenya 

Ordered for  idly  Wada &    eager  to  gulp with  plenty  of  water  finish the  rituals of  eating   and prepare  for  my  next  call .surprisingly idly was too  good  as  soft as  cotton  and  chutney  was  yummy .ordered  for  one more  plate .really  enjoyed  lunch   after   gap  of  many  months  that  too  in a Non  descript  by lane in  Peenya industrial area !! Immediately  I enquired at  the  counter regarding  the  Nala maharaj who  prepared  this idlies   & chutney .At first  the  counter  Manager  saw  me from  top to  bottom  , dint  expect   this  sort  of  enquiry  as he was   used to  hear   only order  from clients  and  issue  token  day  in  day  out . I  persisted  and  at last  came  out  from  the  so  called  kitchen a  frail  old  man in  his 60 s .immediately I  shook his  hand   thanked  him  for  the  excellent preparation  and inserted  Rs  10 in his  pocket , You  should  have  seen the  expression  on  his  face .Transformation!! His face  was turned  into  100 candle  bulb  and showed  his  teeth like  the  Ad  in  center fresh   and   knew       I made  his  Day .He  thanked  me  for  acknowledging his  talent  in  Idly  making   and  told  me  no one  had  complimented him  for  his  culinary  talent  like  the  way  I  did  not  even  his wife.

He showed the  10 Rs to  all  his  friends   and in  turn offered  me if  needed one  more  plate . from  his  account I  politely  refused  and  carried  on  with  my  sales  call

What did  I  do? Nothing  much  I    only  appreciated    his  talent ,  and who knows  if  stars  were  better  placed  he  might  had  worked  in  a  star  hotel !

I  only  appreciated  his  good work  where  we  generally  categorize  as normal  routine  work  for which  he  is  paid .

"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." - William James

Remember  the  scene  in  Munna  bhai  where  Sanju  Baba  hugs  the cleaning  person and  appreciate his  so called drudgery

We  all  need appreciation ,pat  on  our  back ! but  unfortunately  we  are  very stingy  to give  but  liberal  in  flattering …the  bad  cousin  of  appreciation  to  get  our  work  done !!Remember in  our  childhood  the  story  of  a  crow  and  fox  where  fox flatters  crow and  lo it drops  the bread from  its  mouth  and fox runs  away  carrying  it!!

We  do  the  same  thing  even  in  our  adulthood  whenever we  want some  thing  done  we  flatter  them  and not really  appreciating .This  will  not  carry  us  for  a  long  time .

Remember   Appreciation can make a day - even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.

The ability and willingness to express sincere appreciation is one of the most valuable skills of leadership communication.  People will tend to willingly follow others who make them feel good about themselves. 

A few years back as   A  Employee I  was attending one of the first of what would be many workshops conducted by GE on Constructive  feed  back  .  During the session, Trainer  described an exercise that one of his teachers had prescribed for him as he was trying to understand gratitude.  “For one year,” said the teacher, “I want you to write two notes of gratitude before you leave your room in the morning.  And  also appreciate  any good  work done by  your co workers  .quite  challenging ? yes  it  was

Forget about  writing   but How many of  us appreciate  and  say  Thank you  for  excellent  meal  prepared  by  your  wife/mother ?Or  for  that  matter  appreciate  your  Dhobi  for  ironing  your  clothes ?or  your  car  washing  boy? Your  hair  stylist  ,milk man .paperboy ,  list  is  end less …

Difficult!  cause we fall  into  the  usual  trap of convincing  our self that yes they  are  paid  to  do  that

 Can  we go  beyond  monetary motivation  and  appreciate  talent ?

By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.
Voltaire

Not  only  in daily  life  but  you  can  appreciate in  your  work  place  also

You can tell your colleagues, coworkers and employees how much you value them and their contribution any day of the year. Trust me. No occasion is necessary. In fact, small surprises and tokens of your appreciation spread throughout the year help the people in your work life feel valued all year long.

  Praise something your coworker has done well. Identify the specific actions that you found admirable.

  Say "thank you." Show your appreciation for their hard work and contributions. And, don't forget to say "please" often as well. Social niceties do belong at work. A more gracious, polite workplace is appreciated by all.

Ask your  friends /coworkers about their family, their hobby, their weekend or a special event they attended. Your genuine interest - as opposed to being nosey – causes people to feel valued and cared about.

  Last  but  not  the  least  Employee appreciation is never out-of-place. In fact, in many organizations, it's often a scarce commodity. Make your workplace the exception. Use every opportunity to demonstrate your gratitude to employees

Always remember, everyone is hungry for praise and starving for honest appreciation.

Lets  give  it  a  chance

accident

accident

Very recently, while driving to the office, I happened to witness an accident that left me wondering what life was all about. We are so involved in our everyday problems and little victories, which become so insignificant at such moments. Truck had hit a motorcyclist and as people were pulling him out from under the bus I did a U-turn rather than drive past the scene of the incident, not having the heart to see more. as I drove, I  was thinking…. Did he have a wife and children, how would his mother take the news, and if by chance - there is always that flicker of hope - he did survive, would he be able to live a normal life? Who was at fault? The Truck driver or the motorcyclist? A few days have gone by and the shock is wearing off, but I am wary of driving past a motorcyclist and silently Pray  for his Safe ride. My confidence in driving has diminished somewhat. It makes one wonder why we do become so impatient on the road and so disrespectful of the rules, and why our policemen look the other way when traffic rules are being violated. I grieve for the victim, but his family more, for they have to cope with the tragedy.